Karaoke Death Match
by DarkAngel.of.RiffWaves
Summary: What happens when our favorite Tortallian heroes compete for one prize in a karaoke contest? Will Alanna kill Jon? What happens when Neal gets his groove on?
1. The Madness Starts!

Disclaimer: ok so I don't own the characters or the real people so don't sue! The idea has been done before but not quite like this so I'm sorry to those who have done this and if you email me I will give the idea credit to you, IF you've already wrote a story similar.

(A/N Please note that the words in **-italics-** like that are sound effects and words in –_italics-_ like that are mutterings made by the speaker.)

**-------------------------------------------Karaoke Death Match----------------------------------------------**

Guest Stars:

Simon Powell

Ashley Simpson

Billie Joe Armstrong

Characters:

Alanna

George

Jonathan

Thayet

Raoul

Buri

Neal

Kel

Dom

Daine

Numair

Hostess: Welcome everyone to this year's annual Karaoke Death Match! I'm your hostess Dark.Angel! This year's judges will be:

American Idol's own Simon Powell! (walks out on stage waving)

crowd: booo! booo!

Simon: Honestly! You call that a jeer! My mother jeers better than that in the shower! (throws up hands and takes a seat in his chair to the left of the stage)

Hostess: (mildly disgusted and Simon) **-cough-** Now, I'm pleased to present _–not that pleased-_ Ashley Simpson! (walks out on stage skipping)

crowd: booo! booo!

Ashley: **-giggle-** Hi! I just want to thank you all for this chance to prove that I really can be a nice person and not wrapped up in the pieces of me! **-giggle-** You see what I did? Pieces of Me? That's a song of mine! **-giggle-** Get it?

Hostess: I don't believe it! Ashley are you lip-syncing your arrival speech?

Ashley: (looks down pouting) I can't help it! I'm not that good at anything!

Hostess: Just sit down! (Ashley walks by) -_slut_-

**-cough-** Now I'm VERY happy to introduce the third, basically only judge, of this year's KDM (Karaoke Death Match) Please give a VERY warm welcome to the lead singer and guitarist of my favorite band Green Day, Billie Joe Armstrong! (walks out gives me a hug!) **-sigh-**

crowd: YEAH! **-cheer-** WE LOVE YOU BILLIE!

Billie Joe: **-manly chuckle- **Thanks! It's great to be here! My thanks goes out to all of you, (waves hand over to crowd) and to you Dark.Angel for inviting me! (goes and takes seat next to Ashley)

Hostess: Thank you Billie! Now it's time to introduce the contestants!

(turns to the right of the stage. Starts at the top left-right) Alanna, George, Neal, Numair, Daine, (bottom left-right) Jonathan, Thayet, Buri, Raoul, Kel, and Dom!

Now the order will be as follows…. (chooses randomly from hat) Daine, Raoul, Alanna, Jonathan, Thayet, George, Neal, Dom, Numair, and Kel!

crowd: **-cheer-**

Hostess: Now Daine, please come and give the name of your song!

Daine: (grabs microphone) **-cough-** I will be singing You and Me by Lifehouse.

A/NWeeeel what did u think? R/R! Flames accepted!


	2. Daine, Raoul, Alanna, and Treason

**Disclaimer:** I DO NOT own any of this but the idea and the songs are credited to the right people and YES I changed some of the words! If u need any more detail see the first chapter!

**A/N-** sry I couldn't update so fast but I have it written but ive been vacationing with some peeps so I'll do what I can!

* * *

**Chapter 2**

Daine: (grabs microphone)** -cough-** I will be singing You and Me by Lifehouse.

(A/N-ok so I revised some of the words in some of these songs)

What day is this?  
And in what month,  
This clock never seemed so alive,  
I can't keep up  
And I cant back down  
I've been loosing so much time

'Cause it's you and me  
and I love the People with nothing to do  
nothin to lose  
andit's you and me  
and I love the People  
and I don't know why  
I can't keep my eyes off of you

One of the things that I wanna say  
Just aren't coming out right  
I'm tripping on words  
You got my head spinning  
I don't know where to go from here

'Cause it's you and me  
and I love the People with nothing to do  
nothin to lose  
and it's you and me  
and I love the People  
and I don't know why  
I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now  
I cant quite feel your arms  
Everything he does is beautiful  
Everything he does is right

'Cause it's you and me  
and I love the People with nothing to do  
nothin to lose  
and it's you and me  
and I love the People  
and I don't know why  
I can't keep my eyes off of…

'Cause it's you and me  
and I love the People with nothing to do  
nothin to lose  
and it's you and me  
and I love the People  
and I don't know why  
I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is this?  
And in what month,  
This clock never seemed so alive.  
(music ends)

crowd: **-cheer-** GO ANIMAL GIRL!

(Daine goes back to sit down but gets stopped by Numair)

Numair: That was beautiful Magelet!

Daine: It was for you Numair….

crowd: awwww…

(Numair smiles at Daine and kisses her long and deep)

crowd: awwwww…

Simon: You call that a kiss? My pet pig kisses better than that!

crowd: SHUT IT SIMON! YOU RUINED THE MOMENT!

Simon: (turns to the crowd) I hardly call that a moment!

(suddenly everybody pulls out their squids from their pockets and throws them at Simon who instantly becomes buried under it all)

Ashley: awww! They're sooo cute!

Squids: ahhhh! Ashley Simpson! We must squish away! (they all squish away leaving Simon to look as stupid as ever)

Billie Joe: -_this is going to be a VERY long contest! Where did I put my crack?- _

Hostess: Thank you Daine! Now Will Raoul please come up!

Raoul: (grabs the microphone. And starts to speak in his usual booming voice) THANK YOU! (everyone is very shocked)

(Buri scurries over and takes the microphone)

Buri: Thank you! (throws it in the crowd then goes to sit back down) ok. Now continue!

Raoul: ok! I'm going to sing Because of You by Kelly Clarkson.

(Simon: -_oh that whore!- _rolls eyes)

(music starts)

Raoul: (starts singing in a rather screeching voice)

I will not make the same mistake that you did. ( puts hand on heart)  
I, will not let myself cause my heart so much misery.  
I will not break the way you did, you fell so hard.  
(to everyones horror he sang in a higher pitch)  
I've learned the hard way,  
To never let it get that far!

(points finger at the crowd)

because of you,  
I never stray to far from the sidewalk!  
Because of you,  
I learned to play on the safe side so I wont get hurt!  
Because of you, I find it hard to trust not only me but everyone around me,  
Because of you,  
I am afraid

((all the contestants turn to Kel.

Alanna: I'm sorry you were stuck with that (gerks thumb towards Raoul) for four years.

Kel: (shrugs) You get used to it.))

…point it out.  
I cannot cry,  
because I know that's weakness in your eyes.  
I'm forced to fake,  
A smile, a laugh, everyday of my life.  
My heart cant possibly break,  
When it wasn't even whole to start with!

(points finger at the crowd, again)

because of you,  
I never stray to far from the sidewalk!  
Because of you,  
I learned to play on the safe side so I wont get hurt!  
Because of you, I find it hard to trust not only me but everyone around me,  
Because of you,  
I am afraid

I watched you die,  
I heard you cry in the night in your sleep.

(leans back)

I was so young you shouldve known better than to lean on me!  
You never thought of anyone else you just saw your pain!

(stomps foot in frustration)

now I cry in the middle of the night for the same damn thing!

(points finger at the crowd, again)

because of you,  
I never stray to far from the sidewalk!  
Because of you,  
I learned to play on the safe side so I wont get hurt!  
Because of you I try my hardest to forget everything!  
Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in!  
Because of you im ashamed of my life because its empty!

(sinks down on to his knees)

Because of you,  
I am afraid…  
Because of you…  
Because of you…

(gets up off the floor smiling)

Well I rather liked it! (smiles looking at everyone)

…Silence…

Simon: That was absolutely HORRIBLE! NEXT!

Raoul: (trying not to cry) Well…well…YOUR FACE! (runs back to his seat rocking back and forth)

Hostess: -_poor Raoul! Stupid Simon!-_ Anyway, Alanna you're next!

Alanna: (walks up and grabs a random microphone out off her pocket)

I will be singing Tortallian Idiot.

(A/N-a revised version of American Idiot by Green Day)

(music starts and Alanna starts to bang head when it speeds up more)

Don't want to be a Tortallian Idiot!

(Jon stands up and points a finger at Alanna)

Jon: TREASON!

Thayet: (hits him hard on the back of the head) Sit down!

(Alanna continues rolling her eyes)

Don't want a realm under the new courtiers!

(cups hand behind ear)

Can you hear the sound of Hysteria?

(throws up the finger)

The subliminal mind f$ck Tortal!

(Jon: _-well I'll be a nilly school girl!-_ gasps in outrage then gets another lovely hit)

Welcome to a new kind of tension.  
All across the alienation.  
Where everything isn't meant to be ok.  
Sword lore dreams of tomorrow.  
We're not the ones meant to follow.  
For that's enough to argue!

(starts banging her head again sending her hair out of her tie)

Well maybe I'm the f$ggot Tortal!

(Neal: -_We all kind of figured that out-_ no one heard though)

I'm not apart of a Conservative's agenda!  
Now everybody do the propaganda!  
And sing along to the age of paranoia!

Welcome to a new kind of tension.  
All across the alienation.  
Where everything isn't meant to be ok.  
Sword lore dreams of tomorrow.  
We're not the ones meant to follow.  
For that's enough to argue!

Don't want to be a Tortallian Idiot!  
One realm controlled by the conservatives!  
Information age or Hysteria!  
CALLING OUT TO IDIOT TORTAL!

(song ends and Alanna stands panting alittle)

crowd: **-whistle- **ALANNA! ALANNA! ALANNA!

Billie Joe: That was the best one I've seen yet! I loved the-

Simon: Absolutely horrible! Never been so insulted in my life! You call that music? I could have sworn that my ears were being cut off very slowly!

(Alanna's temper was rising very fast)

Alanna: SHOVE IT COWELL!

(Simon continued as if talking of the weather)

Simon: Quite frankly if there wasn't so much already up there I would, but your welcome to try.

(Alanna was about to draw her sword…)

Hostess: (rather hurridly) Loved it Alanna! Jonathan!

* * *

A/N- ok so is this to serious? R&R! I would like to thank WingedxFantasy, Dances With Waves, tawni butterfly, Green Flames, Panda Slippers, Phoenix Fanatic, Reading Chick, and Harmony'sSake for reviewing and sending your encouragement! I was reeeeally nervous about starting this and I thank you all for your help! Also a thanks to WingedxFantasy for telling me that Simons last name is Cowell not Powell. I didn't really know his last name so thank you. And to Reading Chick I'll try to do something with Numair. 


	3. Jon's Hips Lie and George Is Still Sexy

A/N- ok so I finally updated! Yay! Hope you like it!

Chapter-3

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Hostess: (rather hurriedly) Loved it Alanna! Jonathan!

Jon: That's KING Jonathan! And I will be singing Hip's Don't Lie by Shakira!

Buri and Thayet: Oh God's!

Jon:

(music starts)

Ladies up in here tonight  
No fighting, no fighting  
We got the refugees up in here  
No fighting, no fighting  
Shakira, Shakira!

I never knew that she could dance like this!  
She makes a man want to speak Spanish!  
Como se llamlre, bonitala, mie casooo, su casrsa  
Shakira, Shakira!

((Neal: What's he saying?

Kel: I have NO idea!

Dom: I thought it was supposed to be something called Spanish?

Kel and Neal: (shrug))

(Jon attempts to move his hips like Shakira)

(higher voice)

Oh baby when you talk like that!  
You make a woman go mad!  
So be wise, and keep on,  
Reading the signs of my body!

And I'm on tonight  
You know my hips don't lie  
And I'm starting to feel it's right  
All the attraction, the tension

(runs hands over face)

Don't you see baby this is perfection!

(deeper voice)

Hey girl I can see your body moving!  
And it's driving me crazy!  
And I didn't have the slightest idea,  
Until I saw you dancing!

And when you walk up on the dance floor,  
Nobody cannot ignore the way you move your body, girl!  
And everything so unexpected – the way you right and left it!  
So you can keep on taking it!

I never knew that she could dance like this!  
She makes a man want to speak Spanish!  
Como se llamloo, bornitua, musu caprica, sui rcasre  
Shakira, Shakira!

(higher voice)

Oh baby when you talk like that!  
You make a woman go mad!  
So be wise, and keep on,  
Reading the signs of my body!

And I'm on tonight  
You know my hips don't lie  
And I'm starting to feel you boy  
Come on lets go, real slow  
Don't you see baby asriseu es perfecto!

And I'm on tonight  
You know my hips don't lie  
And I'm starting to feel it's right  
All the attraction, the tension  
Don't you see baby this is perfection!

Shakira, Shakira!

Oh boy, I can see your body moving!  
half animal, half man  
I don't, don't really know what I'm doing  
but you seem to have a plan!  
My will and self-restraint,  
have come to fail now, fail now!  
See, I'm doing what I can, but I can't so you know  
That's a bit too hard to explain

Baila en la caille de noochei  
baieila en la calilre de dia!

Bailan en la canlle de nochey  
Baillew en la galle de diasr!

(deeper voice)

I never really knew that she could dance like this!  
She makes a man want to speak Spanish!  
Coimro se llamre, bonita, me cassas, you cassas!  
Shakira, Shakira!

(higher voice)

Oh baby when you talk like that!  
You know you got me hypnotized!  
So be wise, and keep on,  
Reading the signs of my body!

(deeper voice)

Senorita, feel the conga, let me see you move like you come from Scanra!

Mira en Barrainquilwal se bailra asín, say it!  
Mira en Barrantquillat se bailay asík!

Yeah  
She's so sexy every man's fantasy a refugee like me back with the Fugees from a 3rd world country!

(George: Oh Gods he's rapping!)

I go back like when 'pac carried crates for Humpty Humpty  
I need a whole club dizzy!  
Why the Provist wanna watch us?  
Rakkas and Luarins  
I ain't guilty, it's a musical transaction!  
No more do we snatch ropes  
Refugees run the seas 'cause we own our own boats!

BOATS!

(higher voice)

I'm on tonight, my hips don't lie  
And I'm starting to feel you boy  
Come on let's go, real slow  
Baby, like my face is perfecto!

Oh, you know I am on tonight and my hips don't lie  
And I am starting to feel it's right  
The attraction, the tension  
Baby, like my face really is perfection!

No fighting!  
No fighting!

(music ends)

I'm on tonight, my hips don't lie

Hostess: Jon, the music is over…

And I'm starting to feel you boy  
come on let's go, real slow  
Baby, like this is perfecto!

Simon: HEY TURNIP HEAD! The music is over!

Jon: I thought I got an encore. _–You people just don't know talent when you see it!- _So…was it…the loveliest thing you've ever seen?

Ashley: (runs up and throws herself on Jon) ooooh! I loved it Johnny! (still attached to Jon) **-sigh- **

Dom: -_I hope she never breeds!-_

Jon: (turns to Alanna) My Champion! Avenge me!

Alanna: (tries to draw sword but is laughing to hard) I-I'm sorry…but you- (falls over in laughter)

Hostess: -giggle- Ashley get off. -giggle- Ashley. -giggle- Ashley! ASHLEY! GET OFF!

(Ashley takes her seat)

Well if no one else has any comments?

Billie Joe: You got a lighter? I've seem to have misplaced mine.

Hostess: Here.

Billie Joe: (takes a puff) Thanks.

Jon: Hello? Me! I was singing! Did you like it?

Simon: No Turnip Head! You suck! SIT DOWN!

Jon: **-whimper-**

Hostess: (puts head in hands) **-sigh-** Thayet! -_For gracious me! You better be good-_

Thayet: The song I have chosen is Time Stands Still by The All-American Rejects.

(music starts)

Him and her  
Life is turned  
The day I knew would leave  
I can barely breath  
Can you hear me scream?

O-o-o thrown in all directions  
You epitome of perfection  
She's lost her will,  
Time is standing still

He walks, her, home  
Now he walks a-lone  
The days they turn into years  
The eyes they drown in tears

Can you hear me scream?

O-o-o thrown in all directions  
You epitome of perfection  
She's lost her will,  
Time is standing still

The way we are, the way we were  
It's just a shadow of what's wrong!  
The time with you the time is stirred  
I love you for, so long!  
The hearts they turn, they turn away  
She says to go please don't you cry!  
Love lost was found, night turns to day!

O-o-o thrown in all directions  
You epitome of perfection  
She's lost her will,  
Time is standing still

O-o-o thrown in all directions  
You epitome of perfection  
She's lost her will,  
Time is standing still

Time is standing still.

(music ends)

crowd: **-cheer-clap-cheer-**

Thayet: (curtsies and stands before the judges nervously)

Ashley: She's stupid and ugly!

Hostess: Shut up Ashley you're just jealous and mad because she's married to Jon.

Ashley: What does she have that I don't?

Billie Joe: **-cough-**boobs**-cough-**

Ashley: Well what do you think Simon?

Simon: ……

Ashley: …Simon…?

Simon: (zoning back in) …well plainly it-oh! Look a birdie! (jumps up and chases it around the stage) hehehehe!

Neal: (jumps up) I wanna see the birdie!

Alanna: Queenscove! What did I tell you about birds!

Kel: What's wrong with birds? I'll have you know I like birds!

Daine: Yeah, Alanna! Birds are nice!

Alanna: Birds aren't the problem. After riding with him for four years I tended to notice that he's a little to close-

Neal: (flapping arms) I just wanna cuddle!

Alanna: (temper rising) I had to heal your finger after the bloody bird broke it to get away!

(everyone winces)

Neal: **-huff-**_stupid_…**-huff-**

Hostess: Thayet you were wonderful. Neal set down. George you're up next.

crowd: George! **-cheer-** George!

Alanna: GO GEORGE!

George: (flashes Alanna a wink) Hello!

crowd: **-sigh-**

George: (flashes his VERY rouge grin) I will be tormenting everyone to I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred.

(music starts)

(talks in his deep rouge voice)

I'm too sexy for my love, too sexy for my love  
Loves going to leave me!

(starts shaking his shoulders)

I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt

(throws tunic into the crowd)

So sexy it hurts!  
And I'm too sexy for Buri, too sexy for Buri  
Galla and Tyra!  
And I'm too sexy for Jon's party  
Too sexy for Jon's party  
No way I'm disco dancing!

(starts to prance with his hands on hips)

I'm a model, you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk!  
Yeah on the catwalk, on the catwalk yeah!  
I do my little turn on the catwalk!

I'm too sexy for my horse, too sexy for my horse  
Too sexy of coarse!  
And I'm too sexy for my hat  
Too sexy for hat, what do you think about that?

I'm a model, you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk!  
Yeah on the catwalk, on the catwalk yeah!  
I shake my little touché on the catwalk!

(shakes his touché)

I'm too sexy for my, too sexy for my, too sexy for my

(starts to march)

'Cos I'm a model, you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk!  
Yeah on the catwalk, on the catwalk yeah!  
I shake my little touché on the catwalk!

(shakes his touché)

(crowd: WHOA!)

I'm too sexy for Daine's cat, too sexy for Daine's cat  
Poor pussy, poor pussycat!  
I'm too sexy for my love, too sexy for my love  
Loves going to leave me!

(throws hands up)

And I'm too sexy for this song! (music stops)

crowd: OW! **-whistle- **George! **-whistle-**

Alanna: Damn! He should do that more often!

Raoul: That…was… a little out there…

Billie Joe: …HAHAHAHA! **-thud-**

(Billie Joe continues to laugh on the floor)

Billie Joe: …HAHAHA!…great…HAHAHA!…hilarious…HAHAHA!

George: So…feel free to judge now!

Simon: Good! Because that stinks Nealen's shorts!

Neal: Hey!

Dom: It's true you know.

Neal: (smells shorts) **-pwhew!- **(passes out)

Kel: **-hmm-** Didn't see that coming.

Hostess: Anyway… Buri you're next!

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A/N--Thanx to everybody for putting up with this even though I haven't updated in forever! I'm gonna try and get the next chapters out sooner.

A special thanx to my reviewers:

HappeeGoLuckee  
Xxlalla-azizaxX  
Freida Right  
Panda Slippers  
NazqulQueen  
Green Flames  
twani butterfly  
Reading Chick  
Dances With Waves  
Harmony'sSake  
Phoenix Fanatic  
Kairi-of-Heart  
evilrabidplotbunnies  
windedeagle  
HT


	4. Buri, Neal, Dom, and A Weird Janitor

**a/n--**Thanks very much to everyone who has been putting up with waiting so long for an update. I've been really busy with school and now driver's Ed has just started so that's going to take awhile but I've decided to try and start writing the next chapters on paper at school if I have any down time. But again thanks for all the support and here's the chapter!

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the characters that's why it's under the category Tamora Pierce and not under Dark Angel! And as for the songs if I was that talented I would be rich!

* * *

**

Previous: Neal: (smells shorts) **-pwhew!- **(passes out)

Kel: **-hmm-** Didn't see that coming.

Hostess: Anyway… Buri you're next!

* * *

Buri: I will sing…. Hitchin' A Ride? Yeah that's good! Hitchin' A Ride by Green Day. 

(music starts)

Hey mister, where you headed?  
Are you in a hurry?  
I need a lift to happy hour  
Say oh no!

Do you break for distilled spirits?  
I need a break as well!  
The well that inebriated the guilt

1, 2...1, 2, 3, 4!

Cold turkey's getting stale  
Tonight I'm eating a crow!

(Daine: No! -**tear**-)Fermented salmonella poison oak  
No!  
There's a drought at the fountain of youth  
And now I'm dehydrating  
My tongue is swelling up as say

1, 2...**1, 2, 3, 4**!

Trouble times  
You know I cannot lie  
I'm off the wagon  
And I'm hitchin' a ride!

There's a drought at the fountain of youth  
And now I'm dehydrating  
My tongue is swelling up  
I say…

(jumps up)

S&&T!

Trouble times  
You know I cannot lie!  
I'm off the wagon!

(Jon: She is! She put a slug in bed after the last ball I ordered her to attend!)

And I'm hitchin' a ride!

hitchin' a ride!

hitchin' a ride!

hitchin' a ride!

hitchin' a ride!

hitchin' a ride!

hitchin' a ride!

hitchin' a ride!

(music ends)

THANK YOU TORTALL!!

(throws microphone down)

Buri: That was fun, but now I'm hungry…..OoOoO!! I'm gonna go dawn to the Waffle House! Raoul wanna come?

Raoul: DOUBLE STACKED PANCAKES!? YEAH!

(Raoul and Buri run off for a jumbo platter at discount price for the 50th anniversary of Waffle House)

Billie: …uhm…ok…

Simon: …-_stupid freaks-_…

Neal: ….whatdidimiss?…

Dom: What did u say Meathead?

Neal: (glares heavily at Dom) Don't call me that!

Kel: What meathead?

Neal: (glares at Kel) Shut it Protector of the Small!

Kel: (sulks in seat) Not funny…..

Neal: HA!

Hostess: Neal!

Neal: ….whasat?

Hostess: Your next.

Neal: -**cough**- Oh right.

I will be singing Kids In Tortall!

(**a/n-** a revised version of Kids In America by Cascada)

Lookin out a dirtier window,  
Down below the cars in the city go rushing by!  
I sit here alone and I wonder why…

Friday night and everyone's moving,  
I can feel the heat but it's soothing heading down.  
I search for the beat in this dirty town!

Downtown the young ones are going,  
Downtown the young ones are growing

We're the kids in Tortall!  
We're the kids in Tortall!  
Everybody lift for the music around!

(starts to skip)

Bright lights the music gets faster,  
No boy don't check on your watch,  
Not another glance!  
I'm not leaving now honey,  
Not a chance!Hot shots give me no problems,  
Much later baby you'll be saying 'never mind'!  
You know life is cruel life is never kind!

Hearts don't make a new story,  
Kind hearts don't grab any glory!

We're the kids in Tortall!  
We're the kids in Tortall!  
Everybody lift for the music around!

nah-nah-nah-naha-nah-nah  
nah-nah-nah-naha-nah-SAY!

nah-nah-nah-naha-nah-nah  
nah-nah-nah-naha-nah-

Come closer honey that's better.  
Gotta get a brand new experience feeling right!  
Oh don't try to stop baby,

(throws arms around body)

Hold me tight!

Outside a new day is dawning,  
Outside the market is crawling everywhere!  
I don't want to go baby!  
Port Cayan to east Tortall!  
There's a new wave comin I warned yall!

We're the kids in Tortall!  
We're the kids in Tortall!  
Everybody lift for the music around!

We're the kids in Tortall!  
We're the kids in Tortall!  
Everybody lift for the music around!

(music ends)

Neal: lalalalalalalalala! That was foon!

Ashley: ooooh! That was cute Nealen! I love you!

Neal: Of coarse! Everybody loves me!

George: Neal honestly its true: the world lost a great player when you became a knight!

Neal: Oh You all flatter me!

Alanna: Don't let it go to your head!

Jon: Can his head get any bigger?

Simon: As if your one to talk Turnip Head!

Jon: -**whimper**-

Hostess: -**sigh-** Dom you're up!

Dom: I've-

crowd: WE LOVE YOU DOM!

Dom: (smiles and waves) Thanks! So…uhm…I will sing The Own Get the Girls.

(**a/n-** a revised version of The Geeks Get the Girls by American Hi-Fi)

(music starts)

Another Friday night  
You get the feeling right  
At the bar when he sees her coming over

Whatcha gonna do?  
When she walks up to you  
Tongue tied better get yourself together

Down another drink,  
To give him time to think  
What's your sign?  
Hey I think you know a friend of mine!  
All the stupid lines that he had ever heard  
Wouldn't come to mind he couldn't say a word.

Tonight, tonight he's gonna get it right!  
Even losers can get lucky sometimes!  
All the freaks gone on a winning streak  
In a perfect world all the Own get the girls!

Got her holdin' steady,  
Forgot her name already  
Sweatin heard not a smooth operator.  
She's got it goin on dancin to her favorite song  
He's got the line… Is it your place or mine?  
She turns and walks away where did he go wrong?  
But waitin by the carriage she says… What took you so long?

Tonight, tonight he's gonna get it right,  
Even losers can get lucky sometimes!  
All freaks gone on a winning streak!  
In a perfect world all the Own get the girls!

The very next day he guess she ran away,  
The one and only in his bed so lonely,  
But she comes walking in with coffee and a grin!  
As crazy as it seems it wasn't just a dream,  
And all around the world people shout it out!

(waves arms)

The Own got the girl!

Last night he finally got it right!  
Even losers can lucky sometimes!  
All the freaks gone on a winning streak!  
Shout it all around the world cause the Own get the girls!

Last night he finally got it right!  
Even losers can lucky sometimes!  
All the freaks gone on a winning streak!  
Shout it all around the world cause the Own get the girls!

Shout it all around the world cause the Own get the girls!

YEAH!

(music ends)

Dom: Ok so how awesome was that?

Kel: Well of coarse the court player is going to sing a song like that!

Dom: You wound my so, oh gentle maiden!

Kel: -**giggle**-

Simon: -_oh great-_ If you two are done swooning over each other's face, then maybe I can tell you how ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE the song was!

Billie: I liked it! I thought it was creative!

Simon: Oh sure if you like songs about a guy getting laid!

Billie: At least he gets some! –_unlike you-_

Simon: YOU FAG!

Billie: WHORE!

Simon: LOSER!

Billie: FUDGE PACKER!

Jon: I LIKE BISCUITS!!!!!!

(Everybody turns around and stares at Jon)

Alanna: What the hell Jon?

Numair: Are you kidding me?

Jon: What? I don't get it!

Thayet: Oh why did I marry you?

Jon: Cuz you like my butt.

Thayet: (smiles dreamily) …-_sigh-_…yeah…

George: Alanna, do I have a nice butt?

Daine: …-**cough**-…­-**cough**-…This is all very merry, but uhm…a little uncomfortable for everyone who's not in the conversation.

Ashley: I like the topic of Johnny-phoo's butt!

crowd: SHUT IT ASHLEY!

Hostess: …alright…well-

Simon: Well what? You are a lousy Hostess! You suck! You're fat! You smell like a cat! Your gay! You should run away! Oh my I'm rhyming! I can't stop! Hit me with a mop!

Hostess: GLADLY!

WHACK!!

Hostess: …ohh!…that felt good!

crowd: -**cheer**-

Janitor: …please ma'am… I need my mop!

Hostess: Sorry. Here.

Janitor: Me and my mop! Me and my mop! I mop the floors for three dollars! I need money for my pot! I mop the floors! Me and my mop!

(scurries off to mop things)

Hostess: …awkward…but hey now its Numair's turn!

* * *

**a/n-- **Please review and thank you to all the people who have reviewed! I couldn't have continued this story if it wasn't for everyone! 

**Luna the Moon Fairy-** thanks! I love that song too!

**Queen of Crimson-** i'll try to fit some of those songs in you wanted. and thanks for adding me to your alert list!

**Mischeivious Skyla-** thanks! and im sry but i already had hitchin' a ride picked out or i would have done the song from Mulan!

**JaBoyYa-** thanks! and yeah i've had fun bashing Simon!

**kairi-of-heart-** i'm glad you liked it!

**evilrabidplotbunnies-** haha thanks! and btw i love your fanfiction name! haha!

**Xxlalla-azizaxX-** haha! i LOVE the AAR!

**Citty-** _Citty-_ im glad you liked it! and thanks for reviewing and allowing eagle to also!  
_eagle-_ thanks for reviewing and im glad i could make you laugh!

**Phoenix Fanatic-** im glad i could brighten up your day! and i reeeally like George's part too!

**Freida Right-** the last part was just saying the Neal's shorts stink and then Neal just passed out...and im glad you like the rest tho!

**kelofmindelan14-** I would have dedicated it to Kel but i thought that would be alittle weird with everybody else there...but im glad i could give you a break!

**InweElensar121-** thanks! you flatter me!

**Harmony'sSake-** haha! i love George's part and the whole Jon and Shakira thing is just i couldn't really find a song to make fun of Jon with and i thought that i could make fun of him with Shakira! hehe i kn its out there!

* * *

**a/n--** again thanks and I had alot of fun with this chapter! lol I was listening to Fall Out Boy while typing it up! haha and alittle of the Killers too! 


	5. Numair, Kel, and A Gay Waiter

Ok so I'm sorry that this took so long to come up but I've been having some time issues…school ends at 4:00 but I've got soccer practice till 5:30, THEN I have to go to driver's-ed from 6:00-8:00 plus after that I have to shower and get my homework done, and I know I said I would write in my down time in other classes but that's when I do homework that I couldn't do the night before…again I'm sorry and I know tons of other people can do all that plus get chapters up regularly…but…ITS HARD!

* * *

**Disclaimer: so uhmm…I don't own the characters…like everyone else…but I have to have one of these…which is gay…cuz like I said if I owned them I wouldn't be here I'd be publishing the books…then I could say I own this…but I don't…**

* * *

Hostess: …awkward…but hey now its Numair's turn! 

Numair: …hold one…give me a sec…

Daine: Numair your hair looks fine!

Numair: You're right love! Here I go wish me luck!

Daine: (rolls eyes) Good luck!

Hostess: Ok what will you sing Numair?

Numair: well…do to the probability of success by time it shouldn't take to long so three minutes would have to be the maximum time in which to sing, but then by the list of songs of that time would eliminate quite a few so I'd have to take the amount left and the song should be over two minutes as not to be overly short, but the diversity shall not-

Simon: Just tell us the song lanky!

Numair: LANKY!? I'll have you know I can turn you into-

Daine: Please Nummy! What's the song?

Numair: **-sigh-** For you love…2,000 Lightyears Away by Green Day.

--(a/n – this song was requested by **Reading Chick**, so I'm sorry windedeagle I would've used blackmagic, honest, cuz it does fit, but this was requested first)

(music starts)

I sit alone in my bedroom  
Staring at the walls  
I've been up all damn night long  
My pulse is speeding  
My love is yearning

I hold my breath and close my eyes and...

(puts hands to heart)

dream about her  
Cause she's 2000 light years away  
She holds my malakite so tight so...  
Never let go!  
Cause she's 2000 light years away

I sit outside and watch the sunrise  
Lookout as far as I can  
I can't see her, but in the distance  
I hear some laughter,  
We laugh together!

I hold my breath and close my eyes and...  
dream about her  
Cause she's 2000 light years away  
She holds my malakite so tight so...  
Never let go!  
Cause she's 2000 light years away

(throws arms up)

years away!

I sit alone in my bedroom  
Staring at the walls  
I've been up all damn night long  
My pulse is speeding  
My love is yearning!

I hold my breath and close my eyes and...  
dream about her  
Cause she's 2000 light years away  
She holds my malakite so tight so...  
Never let go!  
Cause she's 2000 light years away

years away-ay!

(music ends)

crowd: **-woot! woot!-**

Ashley: THAT…WAS…SEXY!

Alanna: _I swear if you don't shut up…_

Numair: Well…**-cough-**…thanks I think…it was kind of dedicated to Daine…

Daine: Really?

Numair: Well yes love.

Daine: You're so sweet.

(much smooching going on)

Thayet: Jon, why didn't you dedicate a song to me?

Jon: …uhmm…uh…(points finger) WHAT'S THAT?!

Thayet: (turns head) What I don't see anything? Where Jon?

Jon:…….

Thayet: Jon?

Dom: (points finger to the right) He ran that away majesty.

Alanna: **-laugh-**….** -laugh harder-** I can't believe you fell for that! **-haha-** I mean how many times have you seen me pull that on every conservative? **–laugh-**

Thayet: …_shut up_…

* * *

------Meanwhile at your local Waffle House------ 

Gay Waiter Who Nobody Knows Is Gay: So can I take ya orders?

Buri: Yes. I think I'll have the special with hash browns and sausage…with…a water please.

Gay Waiter Who Nobody Knows Is Gay: And how 'bout you lovely?

Raoul: I'll have the same only with bacon instead of sausage. Do you think I could have extra?

Gay Waiter Who Nobody Knows Is Gay: 'Coarse you can! You're a growing boy! (pats Raoul's stomach) Is that all than?

Raoul: Buri they have cupcakes! (looks at Buri and pouts)

Buri: (rolls eyes) Fine. Two cupcakes also and that's it.

Gay Waiter Who Nobody Knows Is Gay: All right they'll be right out. I'll be back in a little while, so u sir, stay sexy! (walks off)

Buri: Does he seem a little odd to you?

Raoul: **-hehe-** I get a cupcake!

Buri: (puts head in hands) Horse Lords!

* * *

------Meanwhile there is still much smooching going on----- 

Kel: Don't you think this whole thing is getting a bit out of hand?

Dom: A bit.

Neal: well I just want to know whether or not I made the first round! Not that I won't, I just HATE waiting!

Dom: (turns to Kel) How much do you want to bet Neal doesn't make the first round?

Kel: You know as well as I that that's a losing bet, Massbolle.

Dom: Well you can't blame a guy for trying to win a little extra coppers.

Simon: ok lanky and…girl…stop sucking on each other's face!

Billie Joe: Hey Ashley, wanna play 52-card pick-up?

Ashley: How do you play that?

Billie Joe: (pulls out a deck of cards) Like this. When I say go I'm gonna throw these cards everywhere and the first to pick them all up wins. Ready?

Ashley: Oh yes! Let's Go!

Billie Joe: Ok. Go!

Ashley: I got 'em! (runs everywhere trying to get the cards)

Billie Joe: …_what a loser!_…

Hostess: Well Kel if you're ready you can go ahead and sing if Ashley will stop chasing cards-

Ashley: I WIN!

Billie Joe: You're right! That means you get free beer!

Ashley: Yay!

Kel: Can I go now?

Billie Joe: huh? Oh yeah sorry.

Kel: I will sing Halo by Haley James Scott.

Neal and Dom: GO PROTECTOR OF THE SMALL!

Kel: Don't call me that!

Neal and Dom: Yes mother.

Kel: So any way…

(music starts)

I never promised you a ray of light,  
I never promised there'd be sunshine everyday,  
I'll give you everything I have,

the good, the bad.

Why do you put me on a pedestal?  
I'm so up high that I can't see the ground below,  
So help me down you've got it wrong,

I don't belong there.

One thing is clear,  
I wear a halo,  
I wear a halo when you look at me,  
But standing from here, you wouldn't say so  
You wouldn't say so, if you were me  
And I, I just wanna love you,  
Oh oh I, I just wanna love you

I always said that I would make mistakes,  
I'm only human, and that's my saving grace,  
I fall as hard as I try  
So don't be blinded

See me as I really am,

I have flaws and sometimes I even sin,  
so pull me from that pedestal,  
I don't belong there. One thing is clear,  
I wear a halo,  
I wear a halo when you look at me,  
But standing from here, you wouldn't say so  
You wouldn't say so, if you were me  
And I, I just wanna love you,  
Oh oh I, I just wanna love you

Why you think that you know me  
But In your eyes  
I am something above you  
It's only in your mind  
Only in your mind  
I wear a  
I wear a  
I wear a Halo

One thing is clear,  
I wear a halo,  
I wear a halo when you look at me,  
But standing from here, you wouldn't say so  
You wouldn't say so, if you were me  
And I, I just wanna love you,  
Oh oh I, I just wanna love you

Haaa ha-ha halo

Haaa ha-ha halo

Haaa ha-ha halo

Haaa ha-ha halo

Haaa ha-ha halo

Haaa ha-ha halo

Haaa ha-ha halo

Haaa ha-ha halo

Haaa ha-ha halo

(music ends)

crowd: …

Billie Joe: …

Simon: …

Alanna: …

Thayet: …

George: …

Dom: …

Numair: …

Daine: …

Cricket: **-chirp chirp-**

Kel: …well…

Alanna: Goddess…

Neal: WHERE IN THE NAME OF THE DARK GOD'S REALM DID YOU LEARN THAT!?!?

Kel: What do you mean?

Dom: Since when do you sing, and so well?!

Kel: I don't know. I never really thought my voice is that great-

Alanna: PIGS MIGHT FLY!

George: Honestly lass that was-

Thayet: Amazing!

Kel: Well thank you I suppose.

crowd: **-cheer-**KEL**-cheer-**

Billie Joe: That was amazing! And so deep! Wow!

Simon: That was…oh screw it! It was good! Wow! So that's what it feels like to be nice. What a bummer. So over rated!

Hostess: well you can take your seat Kel. And judges now it's your turn to right the contestants who made the next round.

Buri: We're back!

Alanna: Buri you missed Kel sing! It was brilliant!

Raoul: Aww dang it!

Buri: Sorry but this waiter wouldn't let Raoul leave!

Raoul: Yes he was an odd one…

Hostess: Well you're just in time to hear the decision of who makes it.

Raoul: Oh goody!

Jon: Wait I'm back!

Thayet: Where were you?

Jon: I got lost in the bathroom. Thayet did you know that the latrine is on the wall here!?

Raoul: Really!?

Jon: Yeah! It's so awsome!

Hostess: Yes well back to business. Ok judges have you reached your decision?

Billie Joe: Yes we have…

* * *

**Darth Tater**- yeah I know that this story is wacked but I have an odd sense of humor! Hehe! 

**Starling Rising/Citty**- I'm so sorry it took so long! Really I am!

**Phoenix Fanatic**- thanks for adding me to you're favorites list! I love your stuff and it makes me really happy that you did that!

**theknightofkonaha**- well I love making people cry from laughing so hard so thanks!

**Reading Chick**- yeah I'm trying not to make him comment about the way they sing his songs cuz I don't think that they would be as good if someone else sang them. But I thought that that song fit buri pretty well! P

**Lily Evans Potter Star**- haha! I'm glad u loved that part! It just sorta happened and I was really happy with it! And also I like biscuits is one of my favorite and most used sayings so I lent it to Jon! lol! And it s'ok about the long reviews I love them! I do try to be amazing tho.

**NazgulQueen**- that sucks about your internet problem but I'm glad you could finally read it!

**evilrabidplotbunnies**- I'm glad you find my story funny even if I think I did get it WAY out of character.

**InweElensar121**- I'm sorry about your sudden craving for waffles nut I am happy I got 5 dancing Georges! That's fabulous to have so many dancing Georges!

**Queen of Crimson**- haha! Yeah she prolly did marry him for more but I've always imagined Jon with a fabulous butt! Lol!

**windedeagle**- haha! I'm glad u found it funny:-o! I love that face!

**JaBoyYa**- I promise Simon WILL get hit again! Simply cuz I don't like him and its fun to bash him! lol!

**tiger596-** I'm glad you love this story! Thanks much!

**Durgadevi the great**- well I haven't really thought of any more stories into details cuz this one is taking so long but im determined to finish it. Seriously tho ill think about writing more like it…I've got a couple of ideas…

**Shanabob**- hahaha! lmbo! I'm sry u got in trouble but i'm glad you found it funny! Haha! I loved that review! I love hearing about strange things that happened while someone was reading my story! haha!

**Rocker-Of-Random**- I do love billie joe! He's my favorite person ever! Thanks for reviewing for every chapter it really meant a lot that u took the time to go and review for everyone. Thanks bunches AND YOY FOR GREEN DAY LOVERS!!! Defiantly the BEST band in the WORLD!!!

**Thaif**- haha yeah I loved those to! Thanks!

**HarryPotter and Tamora Pierce Fan 987**- sorry I didn't update very soon:(

**potterlover1031**- haha! I'm glad you consider this a good one! That means a lot thanks!

**Lady Starbright**- hehe I'm glad it makes you laugh so much!

**anonymous**- well here is more

**opalshine**- I'm glad you luv it!

**more**- hahaha! That made my day! haha! Well here is more! Seriously tho that made me laugh ALOT!

_A/N--Well that was ALOT of reviews but I like writing responses like that. I can't thank all of you all for the reviews! I can't believe I've gotten so many more after every chapter and I keep getting more! Thank you so much! All of you! It means so much to me!_


	6. Daine Remembers Through Song

**A/N--**Sorry 'bout the whole not updating thing but semester exams are coming up and so this chapter basically sux cuz I was in such a rush to get it up….so u kn…. sry….I'll try to do better but lately I've been having trouble continuing but it should get better when the fillers are basically done. I've been listening to AFI's new cd and The Killers and songs like Maneater to get me going…..hopefully it works….

**Disclaimer:** **I don't own Tamora Pierce's characters any more than Kevin Federline owns talent.**

**Last Time:**

Jon: I got lost in the bathroom. Thayet did you know that the latrine is on the wall here!?

Raoul: Really!?

Jon: Yeah! It's so awesome!

Hostess: Yes well back to business. Ok judges have you reached your decision?

Billie Joe: Yes we have…

Billie Joe: After much thought of who should continue towards the prize, we've, or I've decided to pick the following…

Simon: Quite frankly you all suck and the prize should be given to me for having to put up with your sorry butts-

Daine: Wait a minute what is the prize?

Jon: I bet its one of those latrines on the wall!

Alanna: Enough of that, Jon! Everyone knows that latrines can't be on walls!

Kel: Can we just know who made it?

Billie Joe: Yeah ok. If the contestants will stand up, please. Ok if I call your name sit down, and those left standing will have to leave immediately.

Ok the following please sit… Daine, Alanna, Thayet, George, Buri, Dom, Numair, and Kel.

(they all sit leaving Jon, Raoul, and Neal)

Hostess: Thank you Billie **–sigh-**….Jon, Raoul, and Neal please leave.

Jon: WHAT NO! I worked hard!

Neal: I was fabulous how can you vote me off?

Billie Joe: Well really nobody voted-

Raoul: **-sob-** Buri I need comfort pies!

Buri: Horse Lords! You just ate freaking waffles!

Raoul:…please Buri…..

Buri: Fine! This thing was gay anyways! I quit!

Simon: You can't quit! Wed have an uneven number!

Buri: Then Jon can have my place.

Ashley: (drunken slur)…**-clap-** yeah! **-hehe-** fuzzy slippers! **-haha-**

Jon: Yeah! Buri you are a good friend of the crown! Mithros bless you!

Alanna: Buri I thought we were friends!

Buri: Alanna we are friends, I just have better things to do.

Neal: What about me!?

Dom: Shut up and leave, Meathead! Go back to Yuki.

Neal: Oh yes my Yamani flower for which I would stop and smell…

Kel: I don't think Yuki would like to be smelled…

Dom: I wouldn't if Neal was the one smelling me. You on the other hand I might could tolerate. (wiggles eyebrow suggestively)

Kel: …flirt…

Dom: Lovely.

Kel: Insane man.

Dom: Beautiful woman.

Kel: Psychopath.

Dom: Why if you were a boot to which I could put my foot-

Jon: (raises hands) Subjects enough! I must sing! Let us begin the second round!

Simon: Hey I was supposed to say that!

Thayet: Oh please, just get on with it!

Hostess: All right the queen has spoken let us be on with it! Same order as before, minus the people who have gone.

Buri: Well good luck all! Raoul and I are off to get pies. We'll be back in time for the winner!

Thayet: Bye!

Daine: Bye!

Numair: Have fun!

Raoul: Oh believe me we will!

(Buri and Raoul leave)

Neal: I can't stand to be around the people who disgraced me so! I'm off to my betrothed!

Ashley: BYE NEAL**–hick up-**EN!!!!!

(Neal leaves)

Hostess: Ok then lets start the second round!

Daine, you're first again!

Daine: Ok. Well I think I'll start off the second round with a song by Warmen. It's called They All Blame Me. (**a/n—**this song was requested by Queen of Crimson)

Numair: Go Magelet!

Daine: ­**-chuckle-**

(music starts)

They all blame me

I was living alone with all my friends  
I didn't know my place  
One moment they loved, laughed and cared  
And another started to hate

I was running to them  
Begging to stay, didn't they understand  
All I wanted was them to see what's real  
Try to forgive and forget  
And they thought I was mad  
But I was just sad

I knew they had won and wished me away  
I was left behind  
I had to look up and find them again  
All I found was my lies

They deserted my life  
Hit me hard, turned cold as ice  
I thought I knew who they were  
Now they'd dropped their disguise

And they thought I was mad  
Still sad  
I just wanted to cry  
They wanted me to die

Hundreds of moments that I've forgot  
Too many words that I'd not mind  
Thousands of dreams didn't come true  
Losing someone and they all blame me

I renewed myself still scarves were sore  
But I learned to live again  
Baby steps I'd walk a mile  
And didn't turn my head  
I don't know why I called them friends  
Cause they didn't forgive and forget  
A new life and a new sunrise  
Lonely but free

(a tear falls down her cheek)

So I was mad  
No more sad  
Wanted to cry  
Wanted me to die

(music ends)

Thayet: Daine…was that about Snowsdale?

Daine:….a little…..

Alanna: You know that we all love you right?

Daine: I know. And I love you all as well.

George: Group hug!

(all have a group hug)

Ashley: PICKLES!!!!

Billie Joe: Well all I can say is that it got me moving and not in the bean burrito kind of way.

Simon: Well….I suppose I can hold my tongue to the thoughts running through my head….

Ashley: **-giggle-** Ever heard of a man with seven extra toes?? **–giggle-**

Hostess: **-sigh-**_-So not worth the time on tv-_…Alanna you're next!

**Thanks 2 all reviews! Help me hit 100!!!!!**

**Reading Chick**- no problem on having Numair sing that song! I don't mind putting up songs requested by people

**GiantKilleress**- thanks for the compliments! I really appreciate them! I'm glad u really like this chapter! I did have fun with the gay waiter guy! Hehe!

**Lady Starbright**- haha well thanks! I hope your essay went ok!

**Lily Evans Potter Star**- yeah I love Alanna too! She's my fav! I'm glad ur happy Numair went tho! haha!

**Luna Dust**- sorry about the cliffy! I did do the best I could for this chapter so I hope you liked it!

**Freida Right**- haha yeah I wish I could too, but unfortunately I'm tone deaf!

**Starling Rising**- haha well I admit I think it's a good idea….we'll see….

**Phoenix Fanatic**- thanks! I loved the word u used to describe it! 'wickedlyawsomelycool' hehe! And you'll just have to wait with Jon tho…..hehe I'm evil!

**evilrabidplotbunnies**- thanks for telling me about the rule thing!

**theknightofkonaha**- glad ur still loving the story!

**JaBoyYa**- I'm glad you liked Kel's! haha and maybe Jon will get hit….maybe….hmm….

**DJ**- haha! thanks a lot!

**My10315**- hehe yeah I really like George! He is hott! I loved the gay guy too! And I agree we all need a good laugh every now and then! Thanks for reviewing 3 times! That made me very very happy!

**windedeagle**- haha thanks! I liked it too!

**Rocker-Of-Random**- let me confirm with you……Green Day is THE BEST BAND EVA!!!!!!!! No question about it! Billie Joe is also hott and should totally do me!…u kn if I wasn't a virgin and all but they're next tour my friend and I are gonna become their groupies!….that is if Adie doesn't get mad…..so I totally agree with ur choice of music!!! you are wise in that area!


	7. Alanna, Jon, and a Threat

**a/n—**I thought that I would update since i'm just sitting at home resting after I just got my wisdom teeth out. Thought I could make use of my time and write a new chapter so I hope ya'll enjoy it and sry it's so short!

Disclaimer- I'll own Tamora Peirce's characters when Michael Jackson becomes black again…and we all know that's not happening any time soon…. 

----------------------------------------------------

**Last Time:**

Billie Joe: Well all I can say is that it got me moving and not in the bean burrito kind of way.

Simon: Well….I suppose I can hold my tongue to the thoughts running through my head….

Ashley: **-giggle-** Ever heard of a man with seven extra toes?? **–giggle-**

Hostess: **-sigh-**_-So not worth the time on tv-_…Alanna you're next!

-------------------------------------------------------------

Alanna: Ok I'm going to sing It's My Life by Bon Jovi!

(music starts)

This ain't a song for the broken-hearted!  
No silent prayer for the faith-departed!  
I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd  
You're gonna hear my voice  
When I shout it out loud!

It's my life!  
It's now or never!  
I ain't gonna live-forever!  
I just want to live while I'm alive!

It's my life

My heart is like an open highway  
Like Frankie said I did it my way  
I just wanna live while I'm alive!  
It's my life!

This is for the ones who stood their ground!  
For Tommy and Gina who never backed down!  
Tomorrow's getting harder make no mistake  
Luck ain't even lucky  
Got to make your own breaks!

It's my life!  
And it's now or never!  
I ain't gonna live-forever!  
I just want to live while I'm alive!

It's my life!

My heart is like an open highway!  
Like Frankie said I did it my way!  
I just want to live while I'm alive!  
'Cause it's my life!

Better stand tall when they're calling you out!  
Don't bend, don't break, baby, don't back down!

It's my life!  
And it's now or never!   
'Cause I ain't gonna live-forever!  
I just want to live while I'm alive!

It's my life!

My heart is like an open highway!  
Like Frankie said I did it my way  
I just want to live while I'm alive!

It's my life!  
And it's now or never!  
'Cause I ain't gonna live-forever!  
I just want to live while I'm alive!

It's my life!

My heart is like an open highway!  
Like Frankie said I did it my way  
I just want to live while I'm alive!

'Cause…it's…my…life!

(music ends)

crowd: -**cheer**- ALANNA! –**woot**-

George: That was fabulous, love!

Alanna: Why thank you lady-buck!

Billie Joe: Such passion you showed! It's very inspirational!

Alanna:(shrugs)…eh…I try not to work to hard…

Simon: Absolutely horrible! Like watching some kind of dieing pansy!

George: I have about 20 knives on me right now and they will find themselves buried in your body if you don't stop criticizing my wife and friends.

Dom: Well actually Baron, some of us do kind of suck.

Jon: Yeah that's true. Now I'm not pointing any fingers…-_Numair-_

Numair: Hey! I heard that!

Daine: Don't listen to him, sweet, you are a wonderful singer!

Kel: Is it just me or is this whole thing a little abusing to ones pride?

Thayet: I agree. Although, it does kind of amuse me a bit.

Kel: Forgive me majesty, but you must have an odd since of humor.

Alanna: You should have seen the plans for my bachelorett party. Thank the goddess that they couldn't be carried out.

Kel: How come?

Thayet: The boys from George's party ran into the room in the Crown's Royal Colors.

Kel: What's wrong with that?

Alanna: They were wearing dyed scarves around their hips…but unfortunately it didn't cover…everything…

Thayet: I never want to see the backside of Gary again!

Kel: (shudders)…gross…

Ashley: Oh man I'm out of booze!

Billie Joe: Damn it!

Dom: Hey can we get on with this?

Jon: YES! We must!

Daine: Yeah.

Simon: Ok let us-

Jon: Let's start now! Hostess if you please!

Simon: Why does he keep interrupting me?

Jon: CUZ I'M KING!

Hostess: Yes, yes…we all know…ok Jonathan I believe it's you're turn….

Jon: Finally! Having to wait this long has been horribly atrocious!

Ashley: Ok I know that you're sexy and all but please get on with it!

Billie Joe: Why are you still sober!? Honestly the world cannot go on with you giving free opinions!

Jon: HEY! Me! I believe I am the topic!

Billie Joe: So you're the reason she's sober?

Jon:…well no but…it is my turn…

Billie Joe: Right. Sorry continue.

Jon: Right.

Billie Joe: Right.

Jon: Ok?

Billie Joe: Ok.

Jon: Yeah?

Billie Joe: Yeah.

Simon: Just go Turnip Head!

Jon: Right.

Billie Joe: Right?

Jon: Ye-STOP CONFUSING ME!

Billie Joe: -**manly chuckle**- Ok well go.

Jon: I'm singing Maneater by Nelly Furtado!

(**a/n-** this was brought to my attention by Rocker-Of-Random)

Jon: Take it back, take it back... (music starts)

(throws arms up)

Everybody look at me, ME!  
I walk in the door you start screaming!  
Come on everybody what chu here for?  
Move your body around like a nympho!  
Everybody get your necks to crack around

(jumps around)

All you crazy people come on jump around!  
I want to see you all on your knees, knees  
You either want to be with me, or be me!Maneater, make you work hard  
Make you spend hard  
Make you want all, of her love!  
She's a maneater  
make you buy cars  
make you cut cards  
make you fall real hard in love!  
She's a Maneater, make you work hard  
Make you spend hard  
Make you want all, of her love!  
She's a maneater  
make you buy cars  
make you cut cards  
Wish you never ever met her at all! (starts walking around)

And when she walks she walks with passion!  
when she talks, she talks like she can handle it!  
when she asks for something boy she means it!  
even if you never ever seen it!  
everybody get your necks to crack around  
all you crazy people come on jump around!  
you doing anything to keep her by your side!

(blows the crowd a kiss)

because, she said she love you, love you long time!

Maneater, make you work hard  
Make you spend hard  
Make you want all, of her love  
She's a maneater  
make you buy cars  
make you cut cards  
make you fall real hard in love  
She's a Maneater, make you work hard  
Make you spend hard  
Make you want all, of her love  
She's a maneater  
make you buy cars  
make you cut cards  
Wish you never ever met her at all!

(starts sounding like dieing monkey)

oh, aaah! oh, aaah! oh, aaah! oh, aaah! YEAH! oh, aaah! oh, aaah! oh, aaaaah!

Come on man! Come on man!Maneater, make you work hard  
Make you spend hard   
Make you want all, of her love  
She's a maneater  
make you buy cars  
make you cut cards  
make you fall real hard in love   
She's a Maneater, make you work hard  
Make you spend hard   
Make you want all, of her love  
She's a maneater  
make you buy cars  
make you cut cards  
Wish you never ever met her at all! Never ever met her at all!  
you wish you never ever met her at all!  
you wish you never ever met her at all!  
you wish you never ever met her at all!  
you wish you never ever met her at all!

Maneater, make you work hard  
Make you spend hard  
Make you want all, of her love  
She's a maneater  
make you buy cars  
make you cut cards  
make you fall real hard in love  
She's a maneater, make you work hard  
Make you spend hard

(throws hand to heart)

Make you want all, of her love!  
She's a maneater  
make you buy cars  
make you cut cards  
Wish you never ever met her at all!

(music ends)

Ashley: MARRY ME!

Jon: NO! WOMAN BEGON WITH YOU'RE FEALINGS!

Ashley: NEVER!

(runs around the judges booth till Billie Joe kicks his foot out and she trips)

Jon: So how did I do?

Numair: Highness I'm speechless, and probably emotionally scared.

Jon: Really? I was going for something (throws hands out) spastic! What do you think Alanna?

Alanna: (throws empty trash can over head) You can't see me I'm invisible!

Jon: Lioness? Where art thou!?

Thayet: -_thank you Mithros the conservatives aren't here_- Jon, honey, come sit down before you strain yourself.

Jon: Ok.

Dom: Weeeeell this is weird. (turns to Kel) Want to make-out?

Kel: No.

Dom: Please.

Kel: No.

Dom: I taste like mints!

Kel:…No…

Dom: What if I told you I was going off to war and I might die tomorrow.

Kel: Then I'd probably head out with you and you were stupid enough to get if you die.

Dom: You're hot. Want to make-out?

Kel: No.

Simon: I'll make-out with you.

Dom: What?

Simon: What?

Daine: (shudders) ew! Grody!

Hostess: I agree! Thayet if you please…

---------------------------------------------------------------

**YEAH I'M OVER 100 REVIEWS!!! I THOUGHT YOU ALL SHOULD KNOW THAT! THANK YOU ALL FOR REVIEWING AND READING EVEN IF YOU DON'T REVIEW!! I COULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO CONTINUE THIS WITHOUT YOU ALL!!!!**

**GiantKilleress**- sry Raoul and Buri are off and it wasn't as funny as the other chapters. As for the singing of sexyback…u'll just have to wait and see…there will be more sexy Georges too!

**Reading Chick**- glad u liked the song for Daine and glad to hear you ignore snowsdale! Hate those blokes!…hehe…blokes…luv that word!

**jocat**- u'll just have to wait to see what George sings…and Jon will continue to be a jerk too! Glad it's funny!

**Phoenix Fanatic**- hehe I did think that was rather good! And spiffilycooliosweetness is a very good new word!!!

**theknightofkonaha**- I will try to fit that song in but if I doesn't work im sry. I will try very hard tho and thanks for the request and tell ur friends thanks too! I'm also glad you still love the story and you have VERY great taste in music!

**Luna the Moon Fairy**- I'll try what I can…I dk if it will work though with the duet and I haven't heard any Phantom of the Opera works…

**Frieda Right**- I thought it was sweet too! Hehe!

**Pies of Doomeh**- haha glad you find it evil and exclamation points aren't a bad thing either! My story is full of them!

**JaBoyYa**- all in do time, all in do time…

**redwolfeyes**- haha why thank you! You're review made me happy!

**Queen of Crimson**- haha ur kidding right? I finally update and u've got a different favorite band! Haha it's ok! The song really worked tho!

**windedeagle**- sry it was short! This one is short too sry! haha funny we update in the same day!

**NazgulQueen**- haha thank you!

**Ann Blythe**- sry it took so long!

**evilrabidplotbunnies**- haha yay u gave me 100!!!! Thank you!!!!

**Da One Me to Pwn You All**- well jon sings in this one too! And im glad ur emo-ish bro thanks it's funny too! lol! I love emos!

**tangleshadows**- haha glad u think its great but sorry u fell out of your chair!

**Lily Evans Potter Star**- nothings as good as P!ATD!!!! except green day but still such a great band!!!

**tamorapeircerulz**- glad you love it!


	8. Thayet, George, Dom, and a Creepy Song

**A/N** – ok sry it's been like months since I updated! I'm on spring break and I told myself I would update so now here I am! Just bought some new songs off itunes so I'm gonna mix up the bands a bit but they will still be great songs and nothing totally sick gay death cab for cutie! I must say that I'm not a fan but I do love postal service! That's the techno version of death cab if u didn't kn that!

**HEY!!! EVERYONE NEW FALL OUT BOY CD IS OUT SO GO GET IT!!!!!!!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, Tamora Peirce does but if I did then the world would be out of balance and Brittany Spears would still have her hair intact to her head.**

**-----------------------------------------**

**Last Time:**

Dom: You're hot. Want to make-out?

Kel: No.

Simon: I'll make-out with you.

Dom: What?

Simon: What?

Daine: (shudders) ew! Grody!

Hostess: I agree! Thayet if you please…

----------------------------------------

Thayet: I've chosen Here (In Your Arms) by Hellogoodbye.

(music starts)

I like,  
Where we are,  
When we drive,  
In your car.  
I like,  
Where we are,  
Here.

Cause our lips,  
Can touch.  
And our cheeks,  
Can brush.  
Our lips can touch,  
Here.

(smiles dreamily)

Where you are the one, the one,  
That lies close to me.  
Whispers, "Hello,  
I miss you quite terribly."  
I fell in love, in love,  
With you suddenly.  
Now there's no place else,  
I could be, but,  
Here in your arms.

I like,  
Where you sleep,  
When you sleep,  
Next to me.  
I like,  
Where you sleep,  
Here.

Our lips,  
Can touch.  
And our cheeks,  
Can brush.  
Cause our lips can touch,  
Here.

Where you are the one, the one,  
That lies close to me.  
Whispers, "Hello,I miss you quite terribly."  
I fell in love, in love,  
With you suddenly.  
Now there's no place else,  
I could be, but,  
Here in your arms.

Our lips can touch.  
Our lips can touch,  
Here.

You are the one, the one,  
That lies close to me.  
Whispers, "Hello,  
I miss you quite terribly."  
I fell in love, in love,  
With you suddenly.  
Now there's no place else,  
I could be, but,  
Here in your...

You are the one, the one,  
That lies close to me.  
Whispers, "Hello,  
I miss you quite, miss you quite...  
I fell in love, in love,  
With you suddenly.  
Now there's no place else,  
I could be, but,  
Here in your arms.

Here in your arms.  
Oh, here in your... arms.

(music ends)

crowd: -**cheer-cheer**- GO HOT CHICK!!!!!

Daine: aww! Thayet that was amazing! Numair doesn't that song just make u smile?

Numair: That it does my love!

Dom: That just makes me want to cuddle! Wanna cuddle, Kel?

Kel: No.

Dom: One of these days you're going to be all over me-

Kel: And let me guess you are going to turn me down?

Dom: Hell no. I'm just going to say I told you so.

Alanna: Thayet you were so great!

Jon: Lioness! I've found you!

Alanna: (throws trash can back over herself) No you haven't!

Simon: Judging time! You suck!

Thayet: I really have come to the conclusion that you're opinion is of no significance to me, so I ask, Billie Joe what do you think?

Billie Joe: You look like snoopy and it makes my smile! (**a/n** – Stewie Griffin from Family Guy)

Ashley: No comment!

Billie Joe: Good! The less you say the better!

Ashley: Are you implying that I am annoying?

Billie Joe: Why yes I am!

Daine: Numair! Guess what time it is?

Numair: (jumps up excited) What?

Daine: It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time!

(both jump up and start break dancing everywhere on stage)

Kel: I must admit they are perfect for each other.

George: Why yes you should've seen them last midsummer.

Alanna: (from inside trash can) –**hahaha**- That was great! Good times, good times…

Hostess: Daine, Numair please take a seat and now it's George's turn! –**sigh-**

Alanna: (throws off trash can) –**whoop**- Go lady-buck!

George: I will be singing Butterfly by Crazy Town

(music starts and George starts singing really sexy like and in his rouge voice)

Come my lady  
Come, come my lady  
You're my butterfly  
Sugar. Baby.

Come my lady  
Come, come my lady  
You're my butterfly  
Sugar. Baby.

Such a sexy, sexy pretty little thing,  
Fierce nipple pierce you got me sprung with your tongue ring  
And I ain't gonna lie cause your loving gets me high  
So to keep you by my side there's nothing that I won't try

Butterflies in her eyes and looks to kill  
Time is passing I'm asking could this be real  
Cause I can't sleep I can't hold still  
The only thing I really know is she got sex appeal

I can feel too much is never enough  
You're always there to lift me up  
When these times get rough I was lost, now I'm found  
Ever since you've been around  
You're the women that I want  
So yo, I'm putting it down.

(Alanna: -**hehe**-_George!_-**giggle**-)

Come my lady  
Come, come my lady  
You're my butterfly  
Sugar. Baby.  
Come my lady you're my pretty baby  
I'll make your legs shake  
You make me go crazy

Come my lady  
Come, come my lady  
You're my butterfly  
Sugar. Baby.  
Come my lady you're my pretty baby  
I'll make your legs shake  
You make me go crazy

I don't deserve you unless it's some kind of hidden message  
To show me life is precious  
Then I guess it's true  
But to tell truth, I really never knew  
Till I met you...

See I was lost and confused,  
Twisted and used up  
Knew a better life existed but thought that I missed it

My lifestyle's wild I was living like a wild child  
Trapped on a short leash paroled the police files  
So yo, what' s happening now?  
I see the sun breaking down into dark clouds,  
and a vision of you standing out in a crowd.

Come, come my lady  
You're my butterfly  
Sugar. Baby.  
Come my lady you're my pretty baby  
I'll make your legs shake  
You make me go crazy

Come my lady  
Come, come my lady  
You're my butterfly  
Sugar. Baby.  
Come my lady you're my pretty baby  
I'll make your legs shake  
You make me go crazy

Hey sugar momma, come and dance with me  
The smartest thing you ever did was take a chance with me  
Whatever tickles your fancy  
Girl it's you like Sid and Nancy  
So sexy...almost evil talkin' about butterflies in my head  
I used to think happy endings were only in the books I read,  
But you made me feel alive when I was almost dead

You filled that empty space with the love I used to chase  
And as far as I can see it don't get better than this  
So butterfly, here is a song and it's sealed with a kiss

(blows Alanna a kiss then bows)

And a, thank you miss.

Come and dance with me  
Come and dance with me  
Come and dance with me  
So come and dance with me  
uhhhhh ha uhhh ha

Come my lady  
Come, come my lady  
You're my butterfly  
Sugar. Baby.  
Come my lady you're my pretty baby  
I'll make your legs shake  
You make me go crazy

Come my lady  
Come, come my lady  
You're my butterfly  
Sugar. Baby.  
Come my lady you're my pretty baby  
I'll make your legs shake  
You make me go crazy

Come my lady  
Come, come my lady  
You're my butterfly  
Sugar. Baby.  
Come my lady you're my pretty baby  
I'll make your legs shake  
You make me go crazy

Come my lady  
Come, come my lady  
You're my butterfly  
Sugar. Baby.  
Come my lady you're my pretty baby  
I'll make your legs shake  
You make me go crazy

Come and dance with me  
Come and dance with me  
Come and dance with me  
Come and dance with me  
uhhhhhh ha uhhhhhh ha  
Come and dance with me  
Come and dance with me  
Come and dance with me  
Come and dance with me  
Come and dance with me  
Come and dance with me  
Come and dance with me  
Come and dance with me

(music ends)

Simon: Was there hidden insinuatives towards your wife in that song?

George:…a bit…

Thayet: Such passion! (glares at Jon) Why don't you ever woo me like that?

Jon: Well…

Alanna: (very red and feeling more than a little hot and bothered) –**giggle**- George! –**hehe**- That was so hot! (jumps him and starts kissing him fiercely)

Dom: (turns to Kel) If I sing that song will you jump my bones?

Kel: No.

Dom: Please.

Kel: No.

Dom: Then what kind of song do you like?

Kel: Well I like the more romantic songs about lovers decapitating people who try to kill them then they go off and slit there wrists.

Dom: Really?

Kel: No.

Ashley: Can you feel the love tonight?

Billie Joe: Your mom can feel the love tonight.

Hostess: Please everyone contain yourselves! It's Dom's turn!

Dom: Ok Kel prepare to jump my bones!

Kel: -_Anytime you handsome stud_!-

Dom: What did you say?

Kel: I said never you crazy psycho!

Dom: Anyway I will woo my dearest Kel to the song of Goodbye my lover by James Blunt.

(Kel rolls her eyes)

Jon: Oh goody I love this song!

Dom:…

(music starts)

Did I disappoint you or let you down?  
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?  
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,  
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.

So I took what's mine by eternal right.  
Took your soul out into the night.  
It may be over but it won't stop there,

(gives Kel an accusing look)

I am here for you if you'd only care.

You touched my heart you touched my soul.  
You changed my life and all my goals.  
And love is blind and that I knew when,  
My heart was blinded by you.

I've kissed your lips and held your hand.  
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.  
I know you well, I know your smell.  
I've been addicted to you.

(Thayet: That's just a bit creepy…

Numair: Just a bit.)

Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me.

Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer and when I wake,  
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.  
And as you move on, remember me,  
Remember us and all we used to be

I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.  
I've watched you sleeping for a while.

(Daine: That's disturbing…

George: I try not to judge…)

I'd be the father of your child.  
I'd spend a lifetime with you.

I know your fears and you know mine.  
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,  
And I love you, I swear that's true.  
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me.

Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.  
In mine when I'm asleep.  
And I will bare my soul in time,  
When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.  
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.  
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.  
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

(Kel: -_If he got a life he wouldn't be so hollow.-_)

(music ends)

crowd:…

Dom: (holds arms out) Come to me Kel!

Kel:…

Ashley: I'll come to you!

Kel: No!

Dom: So you do care!

Simon: Well I can tell you that I care about as much as Turnip Head!

Jon: huh?

Daine: Well who is next?

George: Good question! Hostess?

Hostess: Well I do believe it's Numair!

Daine: YES! Make it sexy Numair!

Numair: Course, sweet!

-------------------------------------------------------------

**WOOP! 131 REVIEWS! I LOVE YOU GUYS! ALL OF YOU! IT MAKES ME SMILE KNOWING THAT YOU GUYS LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!!**

**AlannaXJon4ever**- thanks! Holiday is the BEST song ever! My favorite song of all time! I will see what I can do!

**Reading Chick**- sorry you hated that song!

**GiantKilleress**- woop! My rating is up! Yeah Raoul will be coming back at the end with everyone else who got kicked off

**bookworm-4-ever2012**- glad you love it so much!

**Pie of Doomeh**- I'm glad you could picture everything!

**windedeagle**- ow! Root canal sounds so much worse!

**Luna A. Dust**- hehe glad you found it amusing!

**Evilrabidplotbunnies**- hehe yeah I thought it was cute!

**Da One Me to Pwn You All**- I'm glad you liked it that much!

**NazgulQueen**- hehe thanks!

**theknightofkonaha**- haha hey think of it as a different ipod for each day of the week!

**Phoenix Fanatic**- totallychocolateicecreamworthyness is such a great one! Seriously that made me smile! And if it's worthy of chocolate ice cream then that must mean that it's shibby!

**Demonicdragonrider**- sorry I won't kill any characters off unless it's simon…-shudders-

**Elavie**- I'm sorry you were sick I hope you are feeling much better!

**JaBoyYa**- glad you liked that song with Jon!

**tangledshadows**- I'm sorry I ran out of time I know it wasn't done to me either.

**cynic.in.a.fishbowl**- somebody told me made me think about the killers but I think I'm leaning towards smile like you mean it. Both are fabuloso but I think Kel would be better with smile like you mean it. Barbie Girl is a possibility but I think that the story is to far gone for it. I'm not sure I'll have to think about it.

**Steelsong**- thanks!

**fencergirl00**- I'll consider hollaback girl. I think it would be great but I can't promise anything.

**Annalina Beneliza Herzra**- thanks! I love it when readers drool!

…**.-** thank you for your suggestion

**jesusfreak30-** is that supposed to be a good review or what I don't know how I'm supposed to take that…

**Flame Rising-** I'm sorry that you did not like this fic and thank you for your opinion everyone is always welcome. I will continue though because so many have sent me wonderful reviews and I owe it to them to continue. You are more than welcome to review again and tell me it sucks but it won't do you any good. I will still keep going.

**All Hail TP-** Thanks!

**Mitchi Takahashi- **I really like that song and I'll try to fit it in but I don't know if I can cause I'm afraid I'm making them sing to many deep songs.

**Ginger-Bizkit-** I'm glad you love dumb Jon! Sorry I haven't updated sooner!

**Rocker-Of-Random-** it's ok it u didn't review so soon. I'm glad though that you and your buddies have remembered so many quotes! I love hearing what parts were the best!


	9. Numair, Kel, and a heffer

**A/N**- ok so I really don't like this chapter at all and I'm so sry it sucks but I just couldn't really think of anything overly great…and I recently realized that I haven't been living up to punk so I will try and add more punk songs in like….SPOILER ALERT!!! DON'T READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW!!! AFI's stuff….I am going to be using one of their songs but I won't say which one or whose going to be singing it!!SPOILER OVER!!!

So enjoy the new chapter!!

DISCLAIMER: When Lance Bass does his hair justice and turns straight then the world will consider letting me own Pierce's stuff.

------------------------------------------------

Previously:

Simon: Well I can tell you that I care about as much as Turnip Head!

Jon: huh?

Daine: Well who is next?

George: Good question! Hostess?

Hostess: Well I do believe it's Numair!

Daine: YES! Make it sexy Numair!

Numair: Course, sweet!

---------------------------------------------------

Numair: Well let's see…I've always been a fan of The Killers, so I think I will sing When You Were Young by of coarse The Killers.

(music starts)

You sit there in your heartache,  
Waiting on some beautiful boy,  
To save you from your old ways!  
You play forgiveness,  
Watch him now, here he comes!

He doesn't look a thing like Jesus!  
But he talks like a gentleman,  
Like you imagined when you, were young!

Can we climb this mountain, I don't know  
Higher now than ever before,

I know we can make it if we take it slow  
That's takin' easy, easy now,

(throws arms and turns around to the side)

watch it go!

(starts to pretend to do a wobbly surf)

We're burning down the highway skyline!

On the back of a hurricane that started turning!  
When you were young!  
When you were young!

And sometimes you close your eyes  
And see the place where you used to live.  
When you were young.

They say the devil's water, it ain't so sweet  
You don't have to drink right now.  
But you can dip your feet,  
Every once and a little while.

You sit there in your heartache,  
Waiting on some beautiful boy!

(Daine: He is so beautiful!)

To save you from your old ways!  
You play forgiveness!  
Watch him now, here he comes!

He doesn't look a thing like Jesus…

(dusts shoulders off)

But he talks like a gentleman!  
Like you imagined when you were young!

When you were young!

I said he doesn't look a thing like Jesus!  
He doesn't look a thing like Jesus!

But more than you'll ever know…

(music ends)

Daine: Numy-pie I love you!

George: Very nice, very nice.

Alanna: Yes, yes very suave indeed!

Numair: (tears up a little) You guys are such great friends!

Dom: Yeah we know.

Kel: He wasn't talking to you, idiot!

Dom: Abuse! That's what it is! You abuse me woman!

Kel: That's nice…

Billie Joe: Well this is really gay so now all of you have forced me to extreme measures to entertain myself. (ties a twinkie to a string and puts it in front of Ashley)

Ashley: ...must…have…crème filling… (chases the twinkie on a string around as Billie Joe waves it around)

Thayet: -haha- I should throw something at her!

Alanna: You should in fact I'll advise it!

Thayet: Maybe later we can shove carrots up her nose.

Alanna: I would like that very much.

George: Or…

Daine: What?

George: (smiles evilly) -haha- You don't want to know…

Dom: (sniffs Kel) You smell nice.

Kel: Shut up you heffer!

Dom: What's that mean?

Kel: (smiles evilly) Oh you know…it means gorgeous man…

Dom: (stands up and yells) I'M A HEFFER!!

Thayet: What does that really mean?

Kel: Retarded cow.

Thayet: I can see that.

Alanna: Hey, Jon!

Jon: What!? You interrupted me getting my mac on!

Alanna: You're a heffer you know that?

Jon: What's a heffer?

Thayet: Hansom king.

Jon: YES I'm A HEFFER!

Dom: ME TOO!

Simon: Hey look a pinwheel! –hehehe-

---------------------------------------------

Meanwhile in the lives of Raoul and Buri…

Raoul: Hey, Buri! Look red pumps! They'll go great with that satin dress I bought last month!

Buri: -sigh- Only if they're in your size.

Raoul: YES! To show my appreciation I'm going to let you design the fort the next time we build one in the sitting room!

Buri: Oh goody…

---------------------------------------------

Hostess: Alright everyone I think it's time Kel had a chance!

Kel: Yes! Ok I'm going to sing U + Ur Hand by Pink.

(music starts)

Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh…  
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh…

Check it out,  
Going out,  
On the late night.  
Looking tight,  
Feeling nice,  
It's a ck fight

I can tell,  
I just know,  
That it's going down…  
Tonight.  
At the door we don't wait cause we know them.  
At the bar six shots just beginning.  
That's when dick head put his hands on me,  
But you see…

I'm not here for your entertainment!  
You don't really want to mess with me tonight!  
Just stop and take a second!  
I was fine before you walked into my life!  
Cause you know it's over,  
Before it began!  
Keep your drink just give me the money!

(smiles slightly)

It's just you and your hand tonight!!

Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh…  
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh…

Midnight,  
I'm drunk,  
I don't give a f++k.  
Wanna dance,  
By myself,  
Guess you're outta luck.  
Don't touch,  
Back up,  
I'm not the one!

(waves hand)

Buh bye!  
Listen up it's just not happening!  
You can say what you want to your boyfriends!  
Just let me have my fun tonight!  
Aiight?

I'm not here for your entertainment!  
You don't really want to mess with me tonight!  
Just stop and take a second!  
I was fine before you walked into my life!  
Cause you know it's over,  
Before it began!  
Keep your drink just give me the money!  
It's just you and your hand tonight!!

Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh…  
Break, break,  
Break it down!

In the corner with your boys you bet 'em five bucks.  
You'd get the girl that just walked in but she thinks you suck!  
We didn't get all dressed up just for you to see!  
So quit spilling your drinks on me yeah!

You know who you are  
High fivin', talking s++t, but you're going home alone arentcha?

Cause I'm not here for your entertainment!  
No!!  
You don't really want to mess with me tonight!  
Just stop and take a second!  
Just stop and take a second!  
I was fine before you walked into my life!  
Cause you know it's over,  
Know it's over,  
Before it began!  
Keep your drink just give me the money!  
It's just you and your hand tonight!!  
It's just you and your hand!!

I'm not here for your entertainment!

(shakes head)

No, no, no!  
You don't really want to mess with me tonight!  
Just stop and take a second,  
Just take a second!  
I was fine before you walked into my life!  
Cause you know it's over,  
Before it began!  
Keep your drink just give me the money!  
It's just you and your hand tonight!!  
Yeah oh…

Alanna: YES! Women empowerment!

Simon: NO! They're getting smarter!

Dom: Kel, you make me sad…

Kel: That wasn't really directed at you…but hey, whatever works…

Ashley: HaHa! I got the twinkie!

Billie Joe: I was distracted by this beautiful woman and her expression of thoughts through song.

Kel: (blushes) Gee thanks…

Dom: Jerk.

George: Yep. Well Kel, you are fantastic!

Numair: -haha- I taught her as a page!

Jon: Lucky bastard.

Hostess: Well I do believe that this is the end of round 2. Judges have you chosen the people for the next round?

Billie Joe: Sure…uhm…let's pick…you…you…and…you…

--------------------------------------------------------

YOY EVERYONE 165 REVIEWS!!! I LOVE ALL OF YOU GUYS AND THIS WOULD NEVER HAVE GOTTEN THIS FAR WITHOUT YOU ALL!!!!

Silentlady101- sry I think Kel is kinda booked for the rest of the season but if you want you can request something else

Mage Knight- so sry it took so long!

sev- haha I don't think that I can do that song but honestly that would be great!

Ginger-Bizkit- im not quite familiar with that song but there will still be annoyance I can guaranty that!

Ann Blythe- so sry it took so long!

dangerous blonde- first of all love the name. And thank you for sending me so many reviews! Sry it took so long!

goddess of the fluff bunnie- wow I would love to do their stuff in here but I don't think it would work with the type of lyrics they have but honestly I have the whole cd and would love to do one of their songs…and for you in the next chapter I will have someone hit him on the head with a breadstick!

AJ- that means a lot thanks!

Elisa- sry I have to make fun of jon…kinda like I have to make raoul seem like he's bi…and I cant really have a duet but think you for the idea

evilrabidplotbunnies- sry I didn't update sooner! Thanks 4 being a great reviewer!

windedeagle- haha I want jon to sing it but not in this fic…I have an idea for another fic…but not until this one is finished…

Phoenix Fanatic- I hate school…one reason I haven't updated in forever and all teachers are out to get students…its just their nature…hehe thanks for always leaving such great reviews!!!

Lady Asianath- haha thanks!

Bookworm-4-ever2012- that's ok and sry it took so long!

Da One Me to Pwn You All- haha its funny you say that cuz before I actually posted the first chapter I was gonna have jon sing that! And honestly some times I do crack up laughing and other times I think it's stupid but people still love it so…

Annalina Beneliza Hezra- no problem about the password. glad u loved it too!

Hairy- ok I complied.

Reading Chick- I tried to make Numair sexy tho I personally think this chapter sucks…

Steelsong- hehe yeah I really liked that whole peanut butter jelly time bit! hehe it was fun to write!

Pie of Doomeh- sry it took so long

theknightofkonaha- glad you still love it! Sry it took so long!

AlannaXJon4ever- haha yeah I think personally kel would make a great emo! haha! Sarcasm and all!

opalshine- yeah but unfortunately this chapter is worse. Sry.

Luna A. Dust- haha glad you love it so much and so sry that it took so long to update!

Silkylion10- hehe why thank you I love that you find this weird!

Rocker-Of-Random- yeah I love the song so much so I bought it off of itunes and now I've listened to it so much I'm kinda sick of it! haha!

Soulofpurity- im so glad you're dieing of humor!

Princess of the Rouges- thanks! I love that song 2!

supreme ruler of llamas- haha! he's so sexy!

cynic.in.a.fishbowl- I will try to have more stuff lobed at Ashley in the following chapters

All Hail Books- uhm…not yet…


	10. Daine, Alanna, and Fabreeze!

A/N- I love you guys!

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot, but if I did own everyone I would so marry Billie Joe! But the world would be out of balance then and I would have to escape to planet Nebula and live with the creator of short-shorts.**

--------------------------------------------

Last time:

George: Yep. Well Kel, you are fantastic!

Numair: -**haha**- I taught her as a page!

Jon: Lucky bastard.

Hostess: Well I do believe that this is the end of round 2. Judges have you chosen the people for the next round?

Billie Joe: Sure…uhm…let's pick…you…you…and…you…

-------------------------------------------

Alanna: Wait, who?

Billie Joe: Dom, Thayet, and Jon.

Dom: NO! I don't want to leave my Kel!

Kel: I'm not yours bird brain!

Numair: Actually birds have very complex brains, so to really insult him you should refer to his brain being the size of an earthworm.

Daine: You now everything don't you Numy-pie?

Numair: Yes love, I do.

Jon: (starts sobbing) Why do I have to go?

Simon: Because you suck.

Billie Joe: No, more like he blows.

Alanna: -**haha**- That's what she said!

Jon: Stop being mean!

George: Well Jon, you don't really suck or blow, you're just singing impaired.

Thayet: That's right honey, you're unique in your own way.

Jon: NO! I want to win! I am king I should win!

Thayet: We must set an example, we except loss in grace.

Billie Joe: I've changed my mind. Thayet you stay.

Thayet: Why?

Billie Joe: I want you in my pants…

Alanna: I'll get in your pants…

Daine: What?

Ashley: What?

Dom: What?

Numair: What?

Simon: Egad! She's a whore!

George: Take that back or I'll bite your leg off!

Thayet: Noble people and Ashley, we leave this place!

Dom: NO! I will be back for you Kel!

Kel: -_I will miss you my love._-

Dom: What did you just say?

Kel: I said die Trickster's spawn!

Jon: I shall be back! Mark my words I shall return!

Ashley: I'll pine for you Johnny!

Hostess: Ok well I don't doubt that… Anyway let's start off the next round with the first singer! Daine!

Daine: YUSS!

crowd: DAINE! DAINE! DAINE! DAINE!

Numair: Go my magelet! You complete me!

Daine: Well I will sing Welcome To The Black Parade, by My Chemical Romance.

(music starts)

When I was,  
A young boy,  
My father, took me into the city,  
To see a marching band.  
He said, "Son when you grow up,  
Will you be the savior of the broken,  
The beaten and the damned?"  
He said, "Will you defeat them, your demons,  
And all the non-believers, the plans that they have made?  
Because one day, I'll leave you,  
A phantom, to lead you in the summer,  
To join the black parade."

When I was,  
A young boy,  
My father, took me into the city,  
To see a marching band.  
He said, "Son when you grow up,  
Will you be the savior of the broken,  
The beaten and the damned?"

(starts jumping around)

Sometimes I get the feeling, she's watching over me.  
And other times I feel like I should go.  
And through it all, the rise and fall,  
The bodies in the street.  
And when you're gone we want you all to know…

We'll carry on, We'll carry on!  
And though you're dead and gone believe me,  
Your memory will carry on!  
We'll carry on!  
Until my heart I can't contain it,  
The anthem won't explain it!

A world that sends you reeling from decimated dreams.  
You're misery and hate will kill us all!  
So paint it black and take it back,  
Lets shout it loud and clear!  
Defiant to the end we hear the call,  
To carry on!

We'll carry on!  
And though you're dead and gone believe me,  
Your memory will carry on!  
We'll carry on!  
And though you're broken and defeated,  
Your weary widow marches on!

And on we carry through the fears!  
Oh, oh, oh!  
The disappointed faces of your peers!  
Oh, oh, oh!  
Take a look at me 'cause I could not care at all!

Do or die!  
You'll never make me!  
Because the world will never take my heart!  
Go and try; you'll never break me!  
We want it all; we want to play this part!  
I won't explain, or say I'm sorry!  
I'm unashamed, I'm gonna show my scar!  
Give a cheer, for all the broken!  
Listen here, because it's who we are!  
I'm just a man; I'm not a hero.  
Just a boy, whose meant to sing this song!  
I'm just a man; I'm not a hero!

I. Don't. Care!

We'll carry on!  
We'll carry on!  
And though you're dead and gone believe me,  
Your memory will carry on!  
We'll carry on!  
And though you're broken and defeated,  
Your weary widow marches on!

Do or die!  
You'll never make me!  
Because the world will never take my heart!  
Go and try; you'll never break me!  
We want it all; we want to play this part!  
I won't explain, or say I'm sorry!  
I'm unashamed, I'm gonna show my scar!  
Give a cheer, for all the broken!  
Listen here, because it's who we are!  
I'm just a man; I'm not a hero!  
Just a boy, who had to sing this song!  
I'm just a man; I'm not a hero!

We'll carry on!  
We'll carry on!  
We'll carry on!  
We'll carry on!  
We'll carry on!

(music ends)

crowd: -**woot-woot**- GO DAINE!!!!

Kel: You're such a good singer!

Daine: Thank you.

Numair: Daine, right now, get in my pants!

Daine: (blushes) -**hehe**- -_Numair!_-

Numair: No Daine, I'm serious! Get in my pants! Right now! Go!

Alanna: Ok Numair keep it G rated.

Simon: Absolutely barbaric! You're worse than my mother and she's absolutely horrible!

Billie Joe: You remind me of a nice bunny that goes hop, hop, hop!

George:…

Daine:…

Alanna:…

Numair: He's got to be high…

Kel: Well I drugged Simon's soup, but he might have eaten it before Simon did.

George:…

Daine:…

Numair…

Alanna: Nice.

(there's a loud bang as the door flew open)

Jon: I'm back my fans!

Simon: How did you get in here!?

Jon: I know something you don't know! Guess what it is!

George: He opened the door.

Jon: Damn it!

Ashley: Johnny! I love you! (starts to run towards Jon)

Jon: (starts screaming and runs away) Die you whore!

Billie Joe: Finally someone agrees with me!

Alanna: It was just Jon.

Billie Joe: Oh. Well then. Security!

Jon: (gets caught and thrown out) I'll be ba-

(door slams shut and locked)

Ashley: NO!

Billie Joe: (grabs a bread stick and throws it at Ashley)

Ashley: Ow! (falls down unconscious)

Billie Joe: Well now I gotta take the trash out. (picks up Ashley and starts dragging here across the stage)

Hostess: Just leave her.

Billie Joe: I shouldn't her stench will get worse.

Hostess: But it's Alanna's turn.

Alanna: Leave her! I wanna go!

Simon: _-yay us-_

Alanna: Well…guess what? I'm gonna sing… The Killing Lights by AFI! YOY!

Kel: Yeah! Decapitation!

Alanna: YEAH!

Kel: YEAH!

Alanna: YEAH!

Kel: YEAH!

Alanna: Yeah- SHUT UP IT'S MY TURN!!!

Kel: Sorry…

Alanna: Now then, BEGIN MUSIC!

(music starts after much glaring by Alanna)

Oh!  
Five A.M. on the bathroom floor from the night before,  
Do you find me dreadful?  
What a shame such a sad disgrace,  
Such a pretty face,  
But she's not regretful.

Am I beautiful?

(George: Heck YES!)

Am I usable?

(Starts to jump around a lot)

It's killing time again!  
Put on your face and let's pretend,  
These killing lights won't kill us all again.

Three A.M. on the city street, when the air is sweet,  
I've had my mouth full.  
But it seems that outside the screen,  
Such a pretty face,  
Often will look dreadful.

Oh.

Am I beautiful?  
Am I usable?

(draws sword and starts running around)

It's killing time again!  
Put on your face and let's pretend,  
These killing lights won't kill us all again!  
It's killing time again!  
Cover your face and we'll pretend,  
These killing lights can't kill us all again!

You see they always remember.  
They never forget a face.  
When they cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut you up, cut, cut, cut, cut.

They remember.  
Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut you up.

Cut you up!

It's killing time again!  
Put on your face and let's pretend,  
These killing lights won't kill us all again.

It's killing time again!  
Cover your face and we'll pretend,  
These killing lights can't kill us all again.

All again.  
All again.  
It's time again.  
It's killing time!

(music ends)

crowd: YEA, YEA! GO ALANNA! –**cheer**-

George: Lass, it's getting hot in here! Perhaps we should take this outside?

Kel: Ewwwwwww!

Billie Joe: Alanna, could I hire you for, assistance in… robbery?

Alanna: What do you have in mind?

Billie Joe: I want to rob the president… of his dignity!!!

Simon: Can't be done. Impossible.

Daine: -**hehe**- Yummy!

Numair: What is that?

Daine: Well according to the writing it's… Dr. Pepper…

Numair: Where did you get that?

Daine: It came out of a metal box with a CLANG!

Alanna: Fun! We must investigate!

Daine: NO! MY PRECIOUS!

Alanna: Eat parchment! I want it!

Kel: I would rather have pretty little colorful matches! I LOVE FIRE!

(loud crash)

Jon: YES! I'm back!

Billie Joe: How the hell does he keep getting back in here!?

Simon: Damn janitor left the window open!

Janitor: I just wanted to give everyone a fresh breeze to bring the wonderful scent of life into the studio!

Billie Joe: Go buy Fabreeze you idiot!

Numair: What's Fabreeze?

Billie Joe: It's an air freshener that sprays a lovely scent every 9, 18, or 36 minutes. Now there's a fresh press button that you push to release an extra squirt for those extra smelly times. Now at your local grocery store for a low price!

Daine: Now I know what it is!

George: But seriously kids there's, nothing funny about misunderstood international terms.

Numair: Yes why just think of how confused Americans are when they go to Canada and order Canadian bacon but they get ham.

Alanna: Or when travelers go to Great Britian and see 'Don't Piss And Drive' on signs everywhere. There not talking about urinating while driving, because their word piss means drink.

Jon: -**hehe**- They haven't noticed m-

Simon: Turnip head get out!

Hostess: Well then…next is George! –_o my goodness yes!-_

------------------------------------------

**THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED AND VOTED! I'M SORRY, BUT I HAVE NO TIME FOR THE PERSONAL RESPONSES, WHICH I AM SO SORRY FOR! I LOVE DOING THOSE AND I FEAL HORRIBLE THAT I HAVE NO TIME TO WRITE THEM ALL! MANLY BECAUSE THERES SO MANY WHICH I ****LOVE****!!! BUT KNOW THAT I COULDN'T HAVE DONE ANYTHING WITHOUT YOU GUYS! YOU ALL COMPLETE ME!**

And to **Icey the Fox**, my flamer from my last post, if you decided to read past the first chapter and you get this I'm sorry that you didn't like it, but you should know that in the very first chapter of most long fics they aren't as good as the ones to follow so if you would've read all the chapters maybe they would've changed your mind. Thank you for being adult about it though and not sending a really trashy flame. I'm sorry though it was not to your taste. Although, I'm destined to have at least one person hate it, and out of ten chapters I only have 3! I'll take those odds anytime!


	11. George, Numair, and Reggae Dancing

**A/N**- thank you to everyone who reads this story thank you! I seem to have started a trend….there's 2 other stories based off American Idol (what gave me the idea), although I haven't really read more than a few chapters of one and I think the other just has one….but anyway it's nice that people seem to like my idea…so sorry that I said I would update more regularly, I had a some problems with this chapter...well here it is…

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but the plot and the way I use the characters. Although… I wish I did create the snorkel, I mean come on how cool would that be to say you invented the snorkel! That'd be so freaking amazing!!!

* * *

**Last Time:**

Jon: -**hehe**- They haven't noticed m-

Simon: Turnip head get out!

Hostess: Well then…next is George! –_o my goodness yes!-_

* * *

George: Well…. I guess right now is the time for a witty comment. 

Alanna: George, when did you get new boots?

George: Oh these? Well, about right before we came onto the show. Why?

Alanna: There so sparkly!

George: I thought that the green glitter set off my hazel eyes quite nicely.

Numair: They do! Where did you get them?

George: Oh, the same place Daine got her leather whip.

Numair: You told him about that!

Alanna: Why Numair, did she use it on you?

Numair: Well….

Kel: That falls under the category of WAY to much information!

Daine: I guess I shouldn't tell you that he loves it then.

Billie Joe: Well if I had a chick like you I would love it too.

Kel: …

George: Anyway… I think I'll go right about now…

Kel: Please do.

Simon: Does it matter? We all know he's gonna suck!

Billie Joe: (kicks Ashley repeatedly) WAKE…UP…FATTY…!

Ashley: (looks around) Whatsgoingon?

Billie Joe: Sorry I don't speak whore.

Hostess: Ashley its George's turn. So go sit down.

George: Ok, so I've decided on a song I heard of off some kind of weird people in a box-

Simon: A TV?

George: Sure… Anyway there were these little distorted rodent things running around, and it looked very interesting… I don't know the name or anything, but I know the words…

Billie Joe: That's fine. We'll tell you what it is at the end if we recognize it.

George: Ok then.

(music starts)

(Daine: This is gonna be good!)

I want to be the very best!  
Like no one ever was!  
To catch them is my real test,  
To train them is my cause!

(Alanna: Goddess no. He didn't…)

I will travel across the land,  
Searchin' far and wide!  
Each Pokemon to understand,  
The power that's inside!

(Alanna: (puts head in hands) He did….)

Pokemon!  
It's you and me.  
I know it's my destiny!  
Pokemon!  
Ooh you're my best friend,  
In a world we must defend!  
Pokemon!  
A heart so true,  
Our courage will pull us through!  
You teach me and I'll teach you!  
Pokemon!  
Gotta catch 'em all,

Gotta catch 'em all!

Yeaaah…

Every challenge along the way,  
With courage I will face!  
I will battle everyday,  
To claim my rightful place!  
Come with me, the time is right!  
There's no better team!  
Arm and arm, we'll win the fight!  
It's always been our dream!

Pokemon!  
It's you and me.  
I know it's my destiny!  
Pokemon!  
Ooh you're my best friend,  
In a world we must defend!  
Pokemon!  
A heart so true,  
Our courage will pull us through!  
You teach me and I'll teach you!  
Pokemon!  
Gotta catch 'em all!

Gotta catch 'em all…

Gotta catch 'em all!!

Gotta catch 'em all!!!

Yeaaah!

Pokemon!  
It's you and me.  
I know it's my destiny!  
Pokemon!  
Ooh you're my best friend,  
In a world we must defend!  
Pokemon!  
A heart so true,  
Our courage will pull us through!  
You teach me and I'll teach you!  
Pokemon!

Gotta catch 'em all! Gotta catch 'em all! Gotta catch 'em all!

(throws fist into the air)

POKEMON!

(music ends)

crowd: YEAH! GO GEORGE! –**cheer**-

Billie Joe: YES! That song is the Pokemon Theme! You are my favorite person! I love those little guys!

Simon: You're a fag if you like those.

Billie Joe: HEY! Who's the f---ing rich rock star who gets laid when ever they want?

Simon: (looks down ashamed) You.

Billie Joe: And who's the stupid TV judge who only gets some every time the director comes to the set?

Simon: -sniffle- Me.

Billie Joe: That's right, now my dog bow to me!

Simon: Yes sir! (bows)

Numair: George where did you hear that song?

George: It was awhile back, but they're totally amazing!

Kel: I'm so freaking jealous I could pee in my pants!

Ashley: I already did!

Daine: That's just wrong…

**-BANG-BLAST-BOOM-**

Dom: Thanks Osama for letting me use your weapons of mass destruction to blast off the door!

Osama: Anytime you want to blast something just stop by, Dom!

(Osama leaves)

Dom: KEL! I came back for you!

Kel: -_I missed you!-_ GO AWAY!

Dom: No.

Kel: Yes.

Dom: No.

Kel: Yes.

Dom: No.

Kel: Yes.

Dom: No.

Alanna: SHUT UP!

Billie Joe: That was some real nice yelling you did there, Alanna.

Alanna: (blushes) Awww shucks it was nothin'.

Simon: Nice going idiot! Now that you've blasted off the door all sorts of disease is going to come in!

(Jon runs in the studio)

Jon: (yelling while running around) I wish I was in the land of Dixie!

Simon: See what I mean!?

Daine: AHHH! Infestation!

* * *

**Meanwhile at your local Supermarket…**

Raoul: Ooo Buri, come over here this melon smells fresh!

Buri: Raoul, dear, we've already got 3 cantaloupes!

Raoul: What can I say? You know I have a melon fetish!

Buri: When are we even going to eat all this stuff?

Raoul: I planned a picnic!

Buri: Horse Lords…

Raoul: (pats Buri's head) Silly Buri, tricks are for kids!

Buri: And, apparently, for overly large Albanians with excruciatingly severe body odor.

Raoul: Buri, I'm ashamed! You know I'm not Albanian!

* * *

**Back at the studio…**

Billie Joe: Hold on sexy Daine! I will save you!

Numair: Hey! If I've told you once, I've told you twice, stay away from my wife!

Pest Control: Someone called?

Simon: Yes we have a… (looks over at Jon and Dom) …problem with pests…

Pest Control: I can take care of that!

(grabs Jon and Dom and throws them out the door)

Dom: I will be back for you Kel!

George: Do you take care of unwanted cretins?

Pest Control: Sure where is it?

Billie Joe: Here. (points at Ashley)

Pest Control: AHHHHHHHH!! (runs out the door screaming)

Hostess: That's just sad…Anyway Numair it's your turn!

Numair: FINALLY!

Daine: Yes!

George: Oh oh! Do a rap!

Simon: Don't give him any ideas…

Numair: -hehe- I have an idea of what I want to sing…

Kel:…I'm scared…

Numair: I'm gonna sing…

Billie Joe: Well! What is it?!

Numair: Party Like a Rock Star by Shop Boyz!!

(music starts)

Yeah! y-y-y-yeah! y-y-y-yeah! y-y-y-yeah!

t-t-t-totally dude!

(starts banging his head)

Party like a rock,  
Party like a rock star!  
Party like a rock,  
Party like a rock star!  
Party like a rock,  
Party like a rock star!  
Party like a rock star!

t-t-t-totally dude!

I'm on a money makin' mission,  
But I party like a rock star!  
Flyin' down 20 lookin' good in my hot car!  
You know them hoes be at my show,  
Worried bout where my chain go!  
I uh rubba in ma pants,  
But these hoes won't let my thang go!

I uwa like I uwa,  
'Cuz you know them hoes be tryin' us!  
Hoe don't you know I f--k wit' fine diamonds,  
That look like Pa-me-la!  
They fine and they hot bra,  
When I'm in the spot bra...

(jumps up)

I PARTY LIKE UH ROCKSTAR!!

Party like a rock,  
Party like a rock star!  
Party like a rock,  
Party like a rock star!  
Party like a rock,  
Party like a rock star!  
Party like a rock star!

t-t-t-totally dude!

Party like a rock,  
Party like a rock star!  
Party like a rock,  
Party like a rock star!  
Party like a rock,  
Party like a rock star!  
Party like a rock star!

t-t-t-totally dude!

HA! HA!Party like a rock star!  
Do it wit da black and da white,  
Like a cop car!

Me and my band, man,  
On the yacht relaxin',  
Getting' a tan man!

uuwaaa!

You know me,  
Wit a skull belt and wallet chain!  
Shop Boyz, rock stars!  
Yeah, we 'bout to change the game!  
Change the game? uh oh!  
They know that I'm a star!  
I make it rain from the center of my guitar!

Party like a rock,  
Party like a rock star!  
Party like a rock,  
Party like a rock star!  
Party like a rock,  
Party like a rock star!  
Party like a rock star!

t-t-t-totally dude!

(George: I wanna party like a rock star!)

Party like a rock,  
Party like a rock star!  
Party like a rock,  
Party like a rock star!  
Party like a rock,  
Party like a rock star!  
Party like a rock star!

t-t-t-totally dude!

As soon as I came out the womb,  
My momma knew a star was born!  
Now I'm on the golf course,  
Trippin' wit da Osbournes!  
I seen da show wit' Travis Barker,  
Rock star mentality!  
I'm jumpin' in the crowd,  
Just to see if they would carry me!

B--ches wanna marry me!  
They see me they just might panic!  
My ice make 'em go down quick!  
Like the Titanic!  
Yeah, I'm wit da Shop Boyz!  
You know what we do!  
I'm surfin' screamin' kowabonga!

(throws hands up)

TOTALLY DUDE!!

Party like a rock,  
Party like a rock star!  
Party like a rock,  
Party like a rock star!  
Party like a rock,  
Party like a rock star!  
Party like a rock star!

t-t-t-totally dude!

Party like a rock,  
Party like a rock star!  
Party like a rock,  
Party like a rock star!  
Party like a rock,  
Party like a rock star!  
Party like a rock star!

t-t-t-totally dude!

(starts moving in slow motion)

t-t-t-totally dude!

(starts banging head again)

Party like a rock,  
Party like a rock star!  
Party like a rock,  
Party like a rock star!  
Party like a rock,  
Party like a rock star!  
Party like a rock star!

t-t-t-totally dude!

Party like a rock,  
Party like a rock star!  
Party like a rock,  
Party like a rock star!  
Party like a rock,  
Party like a rock star!  
Party like a rock star!

t-t-t-totally dude!

(music ends)

crowd: -**whoop**- Numair! –**cheer**- Yeah!

Kel: I wish I had amazing gangsta' moves!

Numair: Yeah, well now I have a headache. But, that's the price of being totally amazing!

Ashley: t-t-t-totally dude!

Billie Joe: (looks at Ashley) Why did your parents even birth you!

Ashley: They wanted another Jessica.

Simon: Boy you must've been a let down. I mean you don't have any knockers!

Billie Joe: Nope. Just little mosquito bites.

Daine: This is so disturbing…

Alanna: Really…

George: NUMAIR! I'm so happy you did a rap!

Kel: And you were pretty much amazing!

Daine: Pretty much? He is the idol of all men! And he's mine!

Alanna: You're so lucky, I want a rock star as a husband!

George: What am I? Chopped liver?!

Alanna: (pats George's cheek) No dear, you're ground beef!

Daine: Poor cow.

Ashley: Yes I am poor.

Billie Joe: You're not poor you're just stupid. And ugly, and fashion impaired, and all catywompas, and you smell, and–

Kel: How come nobody has sang any reggae?

Alanna: Ooo! I can dance reggae! (starts break dancing)

Numair: That's not reggae dancing, Alanna!

Billie Joe: (stumbles over to Daine) Hey Daine, you can stand under my umbr-ella!

Numair: Sorry, but she's already under my umbr-ella!

Alanna: I'll stand under your umbr-ella!

Kel: What?

Alanna: What?

George: What?

Daine: What?

Ashley: What?

Billie Joe: SHUT UP ASHLEY!

Simon: It's rainin' rainin'! Oh baby its rainin' rainin'!

Kel: No it's not!

Hostess: Just humor him…Ok everybody, it's Kel's turn!

* * *

**Thank you everyone! I'm so sorry it took so long! A special thanks to Phoenix Fanatic who stayed on my case about updating! Thanks for motivating me! **

**cynic.in.a.fishbowl-** daine was a bit emo but I did find amusing…sry it seems I have a twisted mind…

**bookworm-4-ever2012-** I agree jon is an idiot in this fic but it wouldn't be the same if he wasn't

**Twili Da Great-** I don't know if daine is going to be in the next round it depends on the voters

**Freida Right**- thanks: P

**Lily Evans Potter Star-** thanks! ; )

**ama-chan13-** yes there is more! And I'm glad you find this hilarious!

**Phoenix Fanatic-** haha your review made me laugh! And thanks again for telling me to update. I had trouble getting motivated to write this chapter I hope its ok.

**TheWinggoddess-** it makes me very happy to know that my chapters make you laugh!

**AnotherRandomDayDreamer-** glad you find it amusing!


	12. Kel and Women's Rights

**A/N-** wow it took me like a week to update! That's not really that bad is it? I have bad news though, I'm going to be out of town for about 2 and ½ weeks so no updates till that little family visitation stuff is over. On a good note though I'm going to Chuck E. Cheese! For my American readers you should know how totally amazing that will be, and for my other readers imagine pizza and an arcade all in one with a ball pit!

_This chapter is dedicated to __opalshine__, because that's what they wanted, and perhaps they know where I live and I don't want to be killed in my sleep since I just washed my sheets! Just kidding, but I really did wash my sheets…they smell quite nice!_

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot, and perhaps a few…obscene mental pictures...like….Simon in Daisy Duke's clothes….eewww!! **

**

* * *

**

Billie Joe: SHUT UP ASHLEY!

Simon: It's rainin' rainin'! Oh baby its rainin' rainin'!

Kel: No it's not!

Hostess: Just humor him…Ok everybody, it's Kel's turn!

* * *

Kel: Finally! Now it's my turn to show the world that Keladry of Mindelan is back, (throws arms up) and FABULOUS! 

Alanna: Yes! Woman rights!

Daine: Yeah! We don't need men!

George: It's a scary thing when women unite together.

Numair: You know what else is scary?

George: What?

Numair: Jon, in his underpants!

(both shudder)

George: Wait, how would you know?

Numair: Well…one time, at band camp…

Billie Joe: Are you telling band camp stories? I LOVE band camp!

Ashley: I was kicked out of band camp…and every other camp. Ooo! Look I have shoe laces!

Simon: She is rather pathetic…

Daine: Right, you might even say she's absolutely horrible!

Alanna: **-haha-** I love it when we abuse Simon!

Numair: Well it is too easy.

Simon: Shut up! It's not funny! Are you all racist!?

Kel: _-No. They're all Simonist.-_

Billie Joe: Stuff it Simon! Can we just let Kel go now? _–I must fantasize about her body!-_

George: Yes, yes!

Kel: Ok, I'm going to sing Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne. (A/N- requested from alianne-kyprioth)

(music starts)

Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I don't like your girlfriend!  
No way, no way!  
I think you need a new one!

(Dom: (crashes through the window) Kel! I hear you!)

Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I could be your girlfriend!

(Dom: YES!)

Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I know that you like me!  
No way, no way!  
No it's not a secret.  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I want to be your girlfriend!

You're so fine I want you mine!  
You're so delicious!  
I think about you all the time,  
You're so addictive!  
Don't you know what I could do to make you feel alright?

Don't pretend I think you know I'm damn precious.  
And hell yeah,  
I'm the mother f---ing princess!

(Simon: There's MORE of Turnip Head's offspring!?)

I can tell you like me too and you know I'm right!

She's like so whatever.  
You could do so much better!  
I think we should get together now.  
And that's what everyone's talking about!

Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I don't like your girlfriend!  
No way, no way!  
I think you need a new one  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I could be your girlfriend!

Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I know that you like me!  
No way, no way!  
No it's not a secret.  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I want to be your girlfriend!

I can see the way, I see the way you look at me!  
And even when you look away I know you think of me!  
I know you talk about me all the time, again and again!

And again, and again, and again!

So come over here, tell me what I want to hear!  
Better yet make your girlfriend disappear!  
I don't want to hear you say her name ever again!  
And again, and again, and again!

Cause, She's like so whatever.  
And you could do so much better!  
I think we should get together now.

(Dom: That's what I've been saying!)

And that's what everyone's talking about!

Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I don't like your girlfriend!  
No way, no way!  
I think you need a new one!  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I could be your girlfriend!

Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I know that you like me!  
No way, no way!  
No it's not a secret.  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I want to be your girlfriend!

In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger!  
Cuz I can, cuz I can do it better!  
There's no other.  
So when's it gonna sink in?  
She's so stupid!  
What the hell were you thinking?!

(George: _-I don't know!-_)

In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger!  
Cuz I can, cuz I can do it better!  
There's no other.  
So when's it gonna sink in?  
She's so stupid!  
What the hell were you thinking?!

(George: I don't know! But now I'm stuck with her!

Alanna: What is that, dear?

George: I love you?)

Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I don't like your girlfriend!  
No way, no way!  
I think you need a new one!  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I could be your girlfriend!  
No way, no way!

Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I know that you like me!  
No way, no way!  
No it's not a secret.  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I want to be your girlfriend!  
No way, no way!

Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I don't like your girlfriend!  
No way, no way!  
I think you need a new one!  
Hey! Hey! You! You!

I could be your girlfriend!  
No way, no way!

Hey! Hey You! You!  
I know that you like me!  
No way! No way!  
No it's not a secret.  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I want to be your girlfriend!  
No way, no way!

Hey! Hey!

(music ends)

Ashley: If I was a dude I would so be your boyfriend!

Numair: You mean it's not a dude?

Billie Joe: Kel I would by honored if you would be one of my groupies!

Dom: SHES MINE!

Kel: I'm yours!?

Daine: Ah ah advert eyes everyone! Major scene in the making.

Dom: Kel you said you wanted to be my girlfriend! So are you not mine?

Numair: Big mistake!

George: Oh he's in for it!

Kel: It's a stupid song Dom!

Alanna: Ooo! This is good!

Dom: You knowingly toy with my heart!

George: Pulling the heart strings!

Numair: Nice! That one actually works really well.

George: I know I used that one last week!

Kel: You're not even supposed to be here!

Alanna: Keep it strong Kel!

Daine: Use the pimp hand!

Dom: But, Kel, I love you!

Simon: And with that I say he's gone bonkers!

Billie Joe: Is it possible to sound even stupider?

Ashley: PICKLES!

Billie Joe: Yep.

Kel: Sure you do.

Dom: I do Kel! Marry me!

Daine: Kick him!

Alanna: Rip out his hair and eat his flesh!

Numair: Wow…uhm…Alanna…I think you're a little to intense for me…

George: Yep. I'm tappin' that.

Billie Joe: Nice!

Ashley: Way to go!

Billie Joe: SHUT UP ASHLEY!

Ashley: I just want to fit in!

Hostess: -Stupid slut- Well that's the end of this round! Judges…uhm…Billie Joe, have you picked the contestants who shall not make it to the final three?

Billie Joe: Sure, why not. It's-

* * *

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Send in your votes! Only two will be voted off this time so pick your least favorite two! And for the finals every previous contestant shall appear, then the prize shall be given! Thanks everyone!**

**ama-chan13**- Yes there is more! The final three have to go before the prize is given!

**Lily Evans Potter Star**- I will try to add a song from one of those bands. I can't promise anything, but I will try!

**Princess of the Rogues**- I wouldn't feel lame…I know all the words to the theme of pokemon and digimon by heart! I have the digimon movie and some pokemon episodes and gameboy advance games! They pretty much rock my socks!

**opalshine**- I'm sorry for not replying to you in the last chapter, I either missed it or it was in a vote of some sort which I didn't reply to because I don't exactly know how to reply to those…but the dedication was made!

**alianna-kyprioth**- yes yes she did.

**Sumsumroll**- thank you for the review! I'm extremely happy you said all that!

**GiantKilleress**- your review made me laugh! Haha! it still does! And I put raoul and buri in just for you by the way! I thought you would love that!

**ShadowofScribe**- I'm not sure I know anything of Queen or Styx, other than dancing queen…

**theknightofkonaha**- I know that wasn't like and hour later…but…was that better than last times wait?

**AlannaXJon4ever**- actually that's not a bad idea…though I think I might save that for a fic I plan on doing after this one…though I will still credit it to you!

**cynic.in.a.fishbowl**- hahahaha! I wish I could've seen that! hahahaha! rotflmbo!

**bookworm-4-ever2012**- haha! I love those commercials!

**fencergirl00**- haha! thanks!

**Freida Right**- that was the plan:-P

**Pie of Doomeh**- glad it amused you! And I hope the song was good but you'd have to take that up with kel…wow that sounded extremely nerdy!

**Twili Da Great**- I'll think about it although I can't promise anything!

**Tree-Joy**- I'm very happy to hear that you gave it a chance! That makes me very happy to hear that people at least give it a shot!

* * *

**ok everyone vote! Two will leave so vote for your least favorite two! The final three will compete for the o so gallant prize!**


	13. Alanna, George, and a tikitorch

**A/N**- yeppers I've tallied the votes so here is the final three! So theres the Award chapter left then the thanks and that's all of KDM! So sorry that it took so long! School and crap makes everything so busy but I want all of you guys to know that I went to a Fall Out Boy concert!!! I got to see them, Cute Is What We Aim For, Plain White T's, and Gym Class Heroes! OMS it was FANTABULOUS!

------------------------------------------------

**Last Time**

George: Yep. I'm tappin' that.

Billie Joe: Nice!

Ashley: Way to go!

Billie Joe: SHUT UP ASHLEY!

Ashley: I just want to fit in!

Hostess: -Stupid slut- Well that's the end of this round! Judges…uhm…Billie Joe, have you picked the contestants who shall not make it to the final three?

Billie Joe: Sure, why not. It's-

------------------------------------------------

Somewhere in a grassy field not so far away… 

Buri: You know, Raoul, this is actually nice. For once you planned something nice. I'm proud of you!

Raoul: Thank you Buri! I'm proud of myself too.

Buri: This is such a nice picnic, so peaceful.

Raoul: Buri! Look a puppy!

Buri: And it's gone.

Raoul: Can I have the puppy?

Buri: No.

Raoul: Please!

Buri: No.

Raoul: Please.

Buri: No.

Raoul: Pretty Please?

Buri: NO!

Raoul: …Buri…

Buri: …hmm?

Raoul: Please?

Buri: -**uhg**-

--------------------------------------------

**Back at the studio…**

Billie Joe: It's-

Dom: KEL! I know you'll win!

Kel: Shut it retard!

Billie Joe: its Daine and Numair.

Numair: NO!

Alanna: Sorry Daine, I guess you didn't keep the pimp had strong.

Numair: BUT I WANT FAN GIRLS!

Ashley: I'll be your fan girl!

George: Numair run!

Daine: Its ok love, we can go poop on the floor instead!

Numair: I do love pooping on the floor.

Daine: See now everyone wins!

Simon: Well it's really only one person who wins…

Alanna: I fart in your general direction! (**a/n**- Monty Python and the Holy Grail)

Billie Joe: -_I love farting_-

Dom: Kel I'm so happy you're still here! And when you win we'll have crazy monkey sex!

Kel:…

Billie Joe: Ah…crazy monkey sex…good times good times…

Simon: This is ridiculous! Daine, Numair, you can just stay here and sit in the stands, and watch the final three.

Daine: That sounds good.

Numair: All right then.

Alanna: Good let's get on with it than! I'm going to sing-

Neal: My fans I'm back!

Dom: Go away Meathead I'm trying to woo Kel, and it won't work if you're here to mess it up!

Neal: Really? Have you told her about the time when we went camping last month, and she walked by and you caught your hand on fire?

Kel: You told me you had a purple cow shoot fire at you!

Neal: How about the time you drew her face on your mirror and started kissing it?

George: Don't we all do that?

Kel: And who do you draw?

George: -**sigh**- …Thayet…

Ashley: I draw Billie Joe…

Billie Joe: AHHHH!!!!

Alanna: Whatever! It's my turn!

(door bangs open)

Jon: See Thayet, they don't let just anybody in you have to be very devious and smart.

Thayet: (pats Jon's head) Aren't you a good little boy!

Simon: NO! Turnip Head go away!

Ashley: JOHNNYS BACK!!! (stares at Jon)

Jon: Thayet…Ashley's undressing me with her eyes…

Thayet: -_It's not as if you have anything to be visualized._-

Daine: Thayet you're back!

Alanna: So what'd you do when you left?

Thayet: Well… I went to go get something to eat when this elf jumped out and tried to steal this girls ice cream so I called upon the moon crystal power and summoned the other Digi Destined and we did battle with the evil elf who then transformed into Swiper so we all called out 'Swiper, no swiping!' but it was too late and he took the ice cream and ran down the yellow brick road, but then the Time Force showed up and threw off the disguise and it was REALLY evil Spiderman but Harry Potter showed up and sent the evil guy back to Never Land, but that's been closed ever since Michael Jackson got in…and then I got bored and told the other Dragon Riders to go and find they're own chosen and pointed to this random guy, I think was named Eragon, and so they took him and here I am.

Jon: And I went to a Tupperware party!

George: Wicked.

Kel: Dude, Tupperware is awesome.

Numair: I live for Tupperware.

Billie Joe: That and the clearance isle at Wal-Mart .

Dom: I live for Kel. My one and only, Ying to my Yang, partner in crime, comrade-

Kel: I'm the what to your what?!

Neal: -**haha**- Now who's the Meathead?

Dom: You are!

Neal: Shut up Tenderloin!

Dom: You shut up, Ground Beef!

Kel: No you shut up, you perfectly seasoned steak that I just want chew on…

Billie Joe: Damn that's hot.

Dom: Kel-

Kel: NO!

Dom: Kel did you just-

Kel: No I didn't!

Dom: KEL WANTS TO CHEW ON ME!

(door bangs open AGAIN)

Raoul: What did we miss?

Kel: NOTHING!

Buri: Good, I hate feeling lost.

Alanna: Raoul what the crap is that?

Raoul: I got a puppy!

Daine: Awesomeness!

Jon: I love fuzzy things! Can I play with it?

Raoul: NO! The last time I let you play with one of my pets you killed it!

Jon: Did not!

George: -**haha**- Yes you did! I remember that!

Neal: What did you name it?

Buri: Horse Lords you had to ask!

Raoul: -**hehe**- Enrique the lumpy puppy.

Kel: Aww! How cute!

Hostess: I'm sorry folks, but we're running out of time so if Alanna would please go.

Alanna: Oh, right. Ok I'm going to sing The Curse Of Curves by Cute Is What We Aim For.

Billie Joe: -**woot**- Go CIW-WAF!

Alanna: Yea… ok… MUSIC!

(Music Begins)

I've got the gift of one liners,  
And you've got the curse of curves!

(Kel: Yea! Go curvy curses!)

And with this gift I compose words  
And the question that comes forward,  
Are you perspiring from the irony,  
Or sweating to these lyrics?  
And this just in!  
You're a dead fit!

(Billie Joe: Told you, Ashley!)

But my wit won't allow it.  
The inside lingo had me at hello  
And we go where the money goes  
The inside lingo had me at hello  
And we go where the money goes

I want someone provocative and talkative!

((George: I can totally be provocative! (bites finger in a very sexy way))

But it's so hard when you're shallow as a shower!  
And from what I've heard with skin you'll win!

Her bone structure screams,  
"Touch her! Touch her!"  
And she's got the curse of curves!  
So with the combination of my gift with one liners,  
And my way,  
My way with words,  
It seems I'm too hip to keep tight lipped  
And you're on the gossip team!  
You're making something out of nothing.  
And jealousy's the cousin, the cousin of greed!  
The inside lingo had me at hello  
And we go where the money goes,  
The inside lingo had me at hello  
And we go where the money goes.

I want someone provocative and talkative!  
But it's so hard when you're shallow as a shower!  
And from what I've heard with skin you'll win!

I want someone!  
Her bone structure screams,  
"Touch her! Touch her!"

(Dom: (touches Kel unnoticed) –**sigh**-)

I want someone!  
And she's got the curse, the curse of:  
From what I've heard with skin you'll win!

We All have teeth that can bite underneath,  
To where the reality grows!  
Yeah, that's where mine go,  
That's where mine go!  
We all have teeth that can bite underneath,  
To where the reality grows!  
Yeah that's where mine go,  
Where the reality grows.  
From what I've heard with skin you'll win,  
And from what I've heard with skin you'll win

I want someone provocative and talkative!  
But it's so hard when you're shallow as a shower!  
And from what I've heard with skin you'll win!

I want someone!  
Her bone structure screams  
"Touch her! Touch her!"

I want someone!  
And she's got the curse, the curse of:  
From what I've heard with skin you'll win,  
With skin you'll win,  
Skin you'll win

(music ends)

crowd: -**woot**- ALANNA! ALANNA! ALANNA! ALANNA! –**cheer**-

George: My love you make me happy like a summer breeze!

Simon: She makes me barf like a summer movie with happy teenagers.

Billie Joe: It was a very yummy performance! I loved it! Let's bang!

Alanna: …maybe later…

Ashley: I don't get it…

Neal: You reek like a dead fish, and your all floppy too.

Jon: Don't eat yellow snow!

Raoul: What's yellow snow?

Numair: I shall now indulge in the little brain activity that seems to be going around…

TOM CRUISE IS A PANSY!

…there now… I have said my piece. Please continue the show.

Daine: Well put my haystack romping mage!

Hostess: Yes –**cough**- George please consume us with mirth for the next 3 minutes of our lives.

George: Right-o debbie-snack lady! I shall be singing a very sexual song called The Bad Touch by the Bloodhound Gang!

Thayet: Yes! Do it in your rouge voice!

Kel: Yeah!

Dom: Kel, I thought I was your one and only!

Buri: Oh no, here we go again! Hit it Mysterious Music Dude!

(music starts)

Ha-Ha! Well now, we call this the act of mating,  
But there are several other very important differences,  
Between human beings and animals that you should know about.

(Jon: Finally I'll find out where babies come from!)

-_I'd appreciate your input_-

Sweat baby, sweat baby, sex is a Texas drought!  
Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about!  
So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts!

(Alanna: -**hehe**- yeah…)

Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up!  
You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds!  
I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hash browns!

(Raoul: I LOVE Waffle House!!)

Come quicker than FedEx, never reach an apex,

Like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined,  
To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time

Do it now!  
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel!  
Do it again now!  
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals!  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel!  
Gettin' horny now!

Love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket,  
Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it!  
Hieroglyphics?

Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas!  
But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means,

"Small Craft Advisory"  
So if I capsize on your thighs high tide, be five you sunk my battleship,  
Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip,  
So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time" you'll Lovett just like Lyle  
And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch "X-Files"!

((Raoul: Enrique, what's doggy style?

Enrique: (shifty eyes) …woof…))

Do it now!  
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals!  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel!  
Do it again now!  
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals!  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel!  
Gettin' horny now!

(Simon: That's not good.)

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals!  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel!  
Do it again now!

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals!  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel!  
Do it now!

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals!  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel!  
Do it again now!

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals!  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel!  
Gettin' horny now!

(music ends)

crowd: -**cheer**- GO GEORGE! –**clap**-

Alanna: George you stud!

Billie Joe: (mad laughter) –**hahahahaha**-

Numair: Now that's a man's song!

Neal: Such atrocity! I shall memorize it!

Kel: -**haha**- That's a really funny song! –**haha**- I love crude mannerisms!

Ashley: I now understand the ways of men… all they want is hash browns!

Buri: NO! You totally don't get it!

Thayet: You insignificant cur! I am Queen I shall smite you! Better yet… (takes George's boot)

George: Hey! In the name of puffy towels, why do you take my boot?

Thayet: Ashley! Smell the stanky boot!

Ashley: No!

Daine: She is Queen do as she says!

Ashley: But I don't want to…

Alanna: Do it now, or I'll beat you down with a stick!

Kel: Then light you on FIRE!

Jon:…

Simon:…

Billie Joe:…Kel, your smokin'…

Dom: Ches! She's the bee's knees!

Ashley: Fine I'll smell the stanky boot! (smells the stanky boot)

Raoul: …and?

Ashley: I like it! Smells like dog saliva, fungus, and… burnt chicken!

Neal: I wanna smell!

Alanna: George! How many times do I have to tell you not to hide food in your shoes!

George: I'm sorry love I just don't want the tiki-torch to take it!

tiki-torch: I'll have your food yet George!

(jumps out window and gets hit by a flying lamp post but somehow miraculously survives and gets thrown into a cesspool of decaying onions and vows its revenge to George, which all takes place during the Yankee's game so no one sees except the delusional old lady…-**dundundun**-…)

Hostess: Please George, put your shoe on I can smell it all the way over here. Now Kel its your turn.


	14. Kel and a Mississippi Squirel Revival

a/n – ok so this was all going to be one chapter but I kept writing and it got too long so I had to put it as another chapter.

**Disclaimer- I own nothing but an extremely awesome shoe collection which include 4 in heel pirate hooker boots!**

**Forgot in the previous chapter but this one and chapter 13 are dedicated to Lady Knight Keladry and to PheonixFanatic who both told me to get off my butt and update for I had been too lazy and reminded me that I owed you guys.**

* * *

**Last Time:**

George: I'm sorry love I just don't want the tiki-torch to take it!

tiki-torch: I'll have your food yet George!

(jumps out window and gets hit by a flying lamp post but somehow miraculously survives and gets thrown into a cesspool of decaying onions and vows its revenge to George, which all takes place during the Yankee's game so no one sees except the delusional old lady…-**dundundun**-…)

Hostess: Please George, put your shoe on I can smell it all the way over here. Now Kel its your turn.

* * *

Kel: Okie-dokie I'm going to sing Misery Business by Paramore!

(music starts)

I'm in the business of misery,  
Let's take it from the top!  
She's got a body like an hourglass that's ticking like a clock!  
It's a matter of time before we all run out,  
When I thought he was mine she caught him by the mouth!

I waited eight long months,  
She finally set him free.  
I told him I can't lie he was the only one for me.

((Dom: (looks over at Raoul) She always uses me for her inspiration.

Raoul: I use Enrique!

Enrique: (shifty eyes)…))

Two weeks and we had caught on fire,  
She's got it out for me,  
But I wear the biggest smile!

Whoa, I never meant to brag,  
But, I got him where I want him now!  
Whoa, it was never my intention to brag,  
To steal it all away from you now!  
But god does it feel so good,  
Cause I got him where I want him now!  
And if you could then you know you would!

Cause god it just feels so...  
It just feels so good!

Second chances they don't ever matter, people never change.  
Once a whore you're nothing more, I'm sorry, that'll never change!

(Buri: Yea Alanna!

Alanna: I have no regrets for what I've done.)

And about forgiveness, we're both supposed to have exchanged.  
I'm sorry honey, but I'm passing up, now look this way!  
Well there's a million other girls who do it just like you,  
Looking as innocent as possible to get to who,  
They want and what they like it's easy if you do it right.  
Well I refuse, I refuse, I refuse!!

Whoa, I never meant to brag,  
But, I got him where I want him now!  
Whoa, it was never my intention to brag,  
To steal it all away from you now!  
But god does it feel so good,  
Cause I got him where I want him right now!  
And if you could then you know you would!

Cause god it just feels so...  
It just feels so good!

I watched his wildest dreams come true!  
Not one of them involving you!  
Just watch my wildest dreams come true!  
Not one of them involving!

Whoa, I never meant to brag, but I got him where I want him now!

Whoa, I never meant to brag,  
But, I got him where I want him now!  
Whoa, it was never my intention to brag,  
To steal it all away from you now!  
But god does it feel so good,  
Cause I got him where I want him now!  
And if you could then you know you would!

Cause god it just feels so...  
It just feels so good!

(music ends)

crowd: -**woot**- KEL YOU ROCK! –**clap**- -**cheer**-

Simon: If you were British and not absolutely horrible I would ogle you.

Jon: You are brilliant perhaps we shall play hop-scotch sometime?

Billie Joe: (jumps on Kel) I take you home! I make you fishbowl soup! (**a/n** – Family Guy)

Dom: NO! She's mine!

Kel: I'm not yours!

Dom: -_Not yet my love but some day you will be and I shall bake muffins._-

Neal: What did he just say?

Ashley: He said "not yet my love but some day you will be and I shall bake muffins".

(everyone laughs)

Jon: Yea right! You stupid liar!

Ashley: I don't get it.

Numair: Daine, may I caress your big toe?

Daine: You know it!

George: Hey can I get some of that sweet action?

Daine: Yea get over here!

Thayet: STORY TIME! Well when I was kid I'd take a trip.

Alanna: Every summer?

Thayet: Ches! Down to Mississippi! To visit my granny in her ante bellum world. I'd run barefooted all day long, climbing trees free as a song! One day I happened catch myself a squirrel!

Billie Joe: What did you do with him?

Thayet: Well I stuffed him down in an old shoebox, punched a couple holes in the top and when Sunday came, I snuck him into church.

Raoul: Mithros! Go on!

Thayet: Ok, so I was sittin' way back in the very last pew showin' him to my good buddy Hugh, when that squirrel got loose and went totally berserk!

Jon: I hate Hugh!

Simon: Shut-up Turnip Head I wanna know what happens!

Thayet: Well what happened next is hard to tell. Some thought it was heaven others thought it was hell, but the fact that something was among us was plain to see.

Ashley: I bet it was the Stevie Wonder remakes.

Thayet: As the choir sang 'I Surrender All' the squirrel ran up Harv Newlan's coveralls!

Buri: Oh no!

Thayet: Well guess what! Harv leaped to his feet and said, 'Somethin's got a hold on me!'

Billie Joe: YEOW!

Thayet: That was the day the squirrel went berserk.

Buri: In the First Self-Righteous Church!

Thayet: Of that sleepy little town of Pascagoula!

Jon: What was it?

Thayet: It was a fight for survival, that broke out in revival! They were jumpin' pews and shouting Hallelujah!

Raoul: Then what happened?

Thayet: Well Harv hit the isles dancin' and screamin' some thought he had religion others thought he had a demon! Harv thought he had a weed eater loose in his fruit of the looms.

Alanna: -**hahahahaha**-

Thayet: He fell to his knees to plead and beg, and that squirrel ran out of his britches leg,

Numair: Unobserved to the other side of the room?

Thayet: Yea! All the way down to the Amen pew where sat Sister Bertha better than you who had been watching all the commotion with sadistic glee.

Jon: I hate her too!

Thayet: -**hehe**- You should've seen the look in her eyes when that squirrel jumped her garters and crossed her thighs.

George: Oh yea that would've been good!

Thayet: She jumped to her feet and said, 'Lord have mercy on me!'

Neal: And then?

Thayet: As the squirrel made laps inside her dress, she began to cry and then to confess to sins that would make a sailor blush with shame.

Simon: Sounds like my kind of woman!

Thayet: Guess what? She told of gossip and church dissention, but the thing that got the most attention is when she talked about her love life then she started naming names!

Thayet: That was the day the squirrel went berserk.

Buri: In the First Self-Righteous Church!

Thayet: Of that sleepy little town of Pascagoula!

Jon: What was it?

Thayet: It was a fight for survival, that broke out in revival! They were jumpin' pews and shouting Hallelujah!

Dom: Keep going!

Thayet: Well seven deacons and the pastor got saved and 25,000 dollars got raised. And 50 volunteered for missions in the Congo on the spot. And even without and invitation  
there were at least 500 rededications, and we ALL got rebaptised whether we needed it or not!

Kel: Yikes what a summer!

Thayet: Well you've heard the Bible stories, I guess, of how he parted the waters for Moses to pass. All the miracles God has brought to this l' world. But the one I'll remember to my dyin' day is how he put that church back on the narrow way!

Neal: And to think with only a half crazed Mississippi Squirrel!

Thayet: That was the day the squirrel went berserk.

Buri: In the First Self-Righteous Church!

Thayet: Of that sleepy little town of Pascagoula!

Jon: What was it?

Thayet: It was a fight for survival, that broke out in revival! They were jumpin' pews and shouting Hallelujah!

crowd: HALLELUJAH!

Hostess: -**sigh**- I love story time! Billie Joe its time to announce the surprise!

Raoul: Goody I love surprises!

Alanna: Me too! But not nearly as much as a good back scratch from a caterpillar!

Daine: Silly Alanna Trix are for kids!

Billie Joe: Ok so here's the surprise! I'm not wearing any underwear and I won't be deciding who wins!

Kel: So no one wins?

Simon: No someone does unfortunately but for some reason Billie Joe came up with the stupidest idea of asking the fans to decide the winner.

Hostess: So there you have it contestants! It's up to you to decide who takes home the trophy and the Prize!

Numair: I still wanna know what that is.

Hostess: So KDM fans vote for the winner! Who will win? The ever valiant and gangsta fo' sho' Alanna, the very sexy, rugged, thief George, or the demonic, fire obsessed hero Kel?

Dom: VOTE KEL AND I SHALL TAKE MY SHIRT OFF!

Kel: -_Damn I wanna see that!_- Vote me!

* * *

**a/n** – Kay, so there you have it! Vote for the one you want to win! The sooner I have enough votes the sooner the next chapter gets up and I promise it will be a lot sooner! I can't start to write until I've got the votes!

And I'm so sorry but I couldn't do the review responses for I'm pressed for time and I really wanted to get these chapters out! I really, really, really do appreciate every single review and I can't tell you how many times I've read them I just really don't have time. Again I feel bad and I'm so sorry because I really like writing those!


	15. FINALE!

Hostess: Welcome back everyone to the season finale of Karaoke Death Match! The votes have been counted and the winner has been decided. But for lack of better judgment, and the need for the episode to have the full amount of time, the producers have decided to have the judges tell the contestant what they excel on and what they should improve on. Billie Joe if you would please?

Billie Joe: Alright, on with the craziness! Alanna you're first. So I love your hardcore rock that you bring to the stage, and you give these amazing performances that just scream 'WORLD DOMINATION'. The downfall I would have to say is that you scare the Michael Jackson out of me, and I rather like my small obsession of little boys.

Simon: She smells like tuna, and when she sings it's like Stella never really did get here groove back. STELLA!!

Daine: What's the good part?

Simon: I am rather fond of tuna.

Alanna: (shudders) Eww!

Ashley: Well I thin-

Buri: No one cares what you think Ash-whore!

Thayet: -_She thinks?-_

Billie Joe: So, George, I think that you have this huge level of mysterious sexiness that I would DEFINATLY tap! I rather think you'd be like James Bond in bed, which is a total turn on!

George: (shrugs) Well I do have my talents…

Billie Joe: Downside is that you haven't got any short-shorts.

Numair: That is a rather big downfall.

Simon: There's nothing brilliant about him. He reminds me of the toilet I took a crap in this morning, and he smells like it too.

Jon: **-giggle**- Poop!

Ashley: I don't use toilets, I have depends!

Billie Joe: Those are for old people who can't control their bowel movements…

Dom: Or gay guys that have too much butt sex.

Neal :-_Man I told those guys at band camp that we shouldn't do that!_-

Billie Joe: So, Kel, you've got such a beautiful voice, you've got a strong message, and you're gorgeous!

Dom: Listen here buddy! She's mine! After all the women I've slept with she's the one with the best boob to butt ratio! Back off!

Thayet: Pig!

Raoul: I don't really think so; I mean he's got a very logical point, Right Enrique?

Enrique: …(shifty eyes)…woof?

Thayet: no stupid! Over there, look it's a pig!

Kel: so Billie Joe, what about my downside?

Billie Joe: I'll take you any direction you want, sweet thang!

Buri: OW OW! I think I need a drink of water, that boys got spice!

Daine: He should come over here. I'll be sure to put out that flame!

Numair: Hey, what about me?

Daine: Only room for two love, but I'll buy you some salsa to make up for it.

Neal: Lucky bastard! Gets salsa!

Ashley: I'll give you some chips to go with that salsa!! (tries to shimmy but falls over)

Simon: Oh, please! Ok, so here's my opinion of everyone; they all suck and I should win the totally stupid, but its free, prize!

Alanna: Seriously, what is the prize?

Dom: My prize is Kel!

Raoul: I hope its cake!

Jon: Perhaps it's a big piece of sugar delight!

George: Oh! I saw the weirdest thing at this place! Apparently that sell sugar charms in a box, but they call it food! And on the box there's this guy in green who says the charms are lucky! Maybe that's the prize!

Neal: Yuki would love that!

Dom: Well too bad, because Kel is going to win!

Thayet: -…_I would like to see him with his shirt off_…-

Ashley: The winner is-

Billie Joe: Shut up Ashley! I get to announce the winner!

Buri: (mutters to Numair) People only like her because she married Pete Wentz.

Numair: Well if it was physically possible, I'd have his kids too.

Kel: I'm more of a Patrick fan.

Alanna: Well when I was a young hooligan growing up in the hood-

Raoul: I like big butts and I cannot lie!

Ashley: You other brothers can't deny!

Jon: You ruined it! Raoul had a perfect harmony and you ruined it! YOU SHAMELESS HUSSY!

Thayet: Simmer down!

Hostess: Billie Joe please announce the winner.

Billie Joe: Ok so pretty much everyone who voted wanted this person to win. That means to all of you other contestants you just aren't popular enough, and just suck at life.

Simon: It was a stupid idea for everyone to vote!

Billie Joe: It was a stupid idea for you to be born! So anyway the winner is…

* * *

TV Commercial Break!!

Narrator**: It happens to tons of people. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Just because your neighbors didn't protect themselves doesn't mean you'll meet the same fate. Keep your eyes out for the robbery! Remember, the Purple Snuffluhfagus could strike at anytime and any place…Are your jean pockets safe?**

Middle Aged Woman Who Can't Act But She Has A Nice Rack And Was In That One Movie With The Guy From That Movie That You Weren't Going To Pay To See But Your Friends Wanted To Go So You Saw It Anyway: Oh, no! The Purple Snuffluhfagus has sabotaged my jean pockets!

Balding Actor Who's Not Famous But Was J-Lo's Back-up Dancer: Have no fear! Sir Peparmoocat is here!

Middle Aged Woman Who Can't Act But She Has A Nice Rack And Was In That One Movie With The Guy From That Movie That You Weren't Going To Pay To See But Your Friends Wanted To Go So You Saw It Anyway: Help me Sir Peparmoocat! The Purple Snuffluhfagus tore my jean pockets!

Balding Actor Who's Not Famous But Was J-Lo's Back-up Dancer: No worries Sir Peparmoocat's special jean pocket patches shall save you from embarrassment!

Middle Aged Woman Who Can't Act But She Has A Nice Rack And Was In That One Movie With The Guy From That Movie That You Weren't Going To Pay To See But Your Friends Wanted To Go So You Saw It Anyway: Wow! They come in all colors and designs!

Narrator: **Sir Peparmoocat's Jean Pocket Patches designs include, stoned cow, road kill, mutilated napkin, demented dinosaur, broken pencil, and the ever-popular dish soap bottle!**

**Call in the next five minutes and we'll throw in a one of a kind patch! That's right it's the map of the secret entrances and exits to Johnny Depp's house! **

**If unsatisfied call the toll charge number and receive your money back!...Who are we kidding, you won't get your money back!**

**Call now!**

Purple Snuffluhfagus: Gah! You foiled my places again! Foofu! Darn you Sir Peparmoocat! Mnah!

Balding Actor Who's Not Famous But Was J-Lo's Back-up Dancer: Hit the sewn confinements of designer jeans Purple Snuffluhfagus! (winks at camera)

* * *

Billie Joe: The winner of this season of KDM is KEL!!!!

(confetti bursts from the ceiling and balloons fall)

Crowd: -**cheer**- KEL! KEL! KEL! KEL! -**clap**- GO KEL! –**random fan screams**- WE LOVE YOU KEL!

Kel: I WON! I ACTUALLY WON! SUCK IT KIM POSSIBLE, I WON!!

Dom: (throws shirt off and runs toward Kel) KEL YOU WON!

Kel: I KNOW! I WON! I BEAT ALL OF YOU! I WON! (jumps on Dom and starts making out)

Alanna: Oh well, at least a Lady Knight won!

George: I guess I could always shake my groove-thang somewhere else.

Ashley: Yeah! Colorful things falling from the sky!

(Ashley jumps on top of judge's table to catch balloons)

Billie Joe: Joy to all!... I'm not going to lie, I just sounded like a gaywad…(pushes Ashley off judge's table) I think that just made up for it.

Daine: And to think I thought there really was a sharpener in the back of these crayons.

Numair: Daine! Stop hogging all the colors! How can I color all the pictures if I don't have my different shades to accent the shadows to give value and contrast!?

Daine:…

Jon: (leans towards Daine) It doesn't matter, because raisins don't have seeds.

Raoul: Enrique! In all this happiness I found a crescent roll for you!

Enrique: …bark?...(shifty eyes)…

Neal: Kel! You should give us one last performance!

(Dom and Kel continue to make out)

Simon: (throws a pear at Dom and Kel) Hey yo-

Billie Joe (punches Simon) Only I'm rad enough to throw something like a pear at people! Now lay down like the dog you are!

Simon: (lays down) Yes higher being.

Billie Joe: Good. (throws an even bigger pear at Kel and Dom) Hey you two don't deny my presence! The atrocity!

Kel: (climbs off Dom) WHAT!? I won didn't I?

Ashley: Don't you want your prize?

Billie Joe: (punches Ashley) Don't you want your prize?

Kel: You mean I get something else? I thought Dom was my prize.

Billie Joe: No you get the super secret, amazingly awesome cheap, but still nice prize!

Kel: Sweet Action!

Dom: I'll give you sweet action!

Kel: (shoves Dom) No! Stop being disgusting! (looks around) …Maybe later…

Buri: What's the super secret, amazingly awesome cheap, but still nice prize?

Billie Joe: Well Kel, you've won a plate of pride!

Alanna: (glares at Billie Joe) If that's been the prize all this time, I swear I'm going to rip you apart.

Billie Joe: No that's not really it. But see your doing the scary thing again!

George: (leans back) Yeah… I tap that.

Thayet: Nice!

Neal: He does what he can to help the community.

Raoul: Dang skippy!

Billie Joe: Kel, the real prize you've won is this large golden container of…FLARP!

Numair: Egad man!

Jon: FLARP! It's the putty that farts!

Buri: She's so lucky!

Ashley: She's a star! And she cry, cry, cries in those lonely nights thinking, if there's nothing missing in my life then why do these tears come at night?

Simon: (sits up) Stop singing Brittany Spears!

Billie Joe: Simon you whore! Bad doggie! Down string-bean!

Raoul: You're such a better companion, Enrique!

Daine: Poor dog.

Dom: Another performance Kel!

Alanna: Yes! More girl power!

Thayet: Oh! Sing Womanizer!

Numair: That's lame.

Buri: Because you are one…

Kel: Alright my adoring fans! I shall sing one last song!

Dom: Then we make out again?

Billie Joe: Then we shag!

Kel: …I'm singing Le Disko by Shiny Toy Guns! Hit it music dude!

Music Dude: …My name is Bob…

Jon: Music dude speaks! Le gasp!

Music Dude: My name is Bob Gilligan. I also right scripts for Broadway.

Billie Joe: No one cares! Play the music!

Kel: (music starts)

Hello little boys little toys!  
We're the dreams you believe in,  
Crawling up the walls  
Running down your face  
Razor sharp, razor clean, feel the weapon sensation  
On your back, with loaded guns!

(Alanna: That's what I'm talking about!)

Now hold on to me pretty baby, If you want to fly I'm gonna melt the fever sugar, Rolling back your eyes

(starts jumping around)

We're gonna ride the race cars,  
We're gonna dance on fire!  
We're the girls Le Disko,  
Supersonic overdrive!

So what's it gonna take silver shadow believer?  
Star rocker with your dirty eyes  
It's a chance gonna move, gonna F*** up your ego  
Silly boy gonna make you cry!

(Buri: Hell yea! I like this chick!)

Now hold on to me pretty baby,  
If you want to fly  
I'm gonna melt the fever sugar,  
Rolling back your eyes

We're gonna ride the race cars,  
We're gonna dance on fire!  
We're the girls Le Disko,  
Supersonic overdrive!  
We're gonna ride the race cars,  
We're gonna dance on fire!  
We're the girls Le Disko,  
Supersonic overdrive!

(starts getting real mellow)

If what they say is true,  
You're a boy and I'm a girl,  
I will never fall in love with you

(Dom: So what we had meant nothing to you!? I LOVE YOU KEL!!)

(leans down and starts whispering)

We're gonna ride the race cars,  
We're gonna dance on fire!  
We're the girls Le Disko,  
Supersonic overdrive!  
We're gonna ride the race cars,  
We're gonna dance on fire!  
We're the girls Le Disko,  
Supersonic overdrive!

AAAAHHHH!!

(Alanna, Buri, Thayet, and Daine all run up on stage and start raving with Kel)

(Billie Joe: GET SOME!!)

Kel, Alanna, Buri, Thayet, and Daine:

We're gonna ride the race cars,  
We're gonna dance on fire!  
We're the girls Le Disko,  
Supersonic overdrive!

(music ends)

Hostess: Well thank you everyone for tuning in for the season finale of KDM! A special thanks to our judge, and the other two useless life forms on this show. Also thanks to our contestants who made the show…special…Tune in next season for an all ne-

(door bursts open)

Mike Dirnt, bass player of Green Day: BILLIE!! We need your help in defeating the Empire! Only your force can help us!

Tre Cool, drummer of Green Day: (runs in wildly) Whales out of the bag, hold your toes, here comes the man who everyone knows! (jumps on the judge's table and does the worm)

Alanna: I like this kid. (runs over and does the worm with Tre)

Simon: Why must the drummer be the insane one?

Billie Joe: He has his sane moments.

Tre: But if I'm insane and sane I get the BEST OF BOTH WORLDS! CHILL IT OUT TAKE IT SLOW, THEN YOU ROCK OUT THE SHOW!

Mike: Tre! What have I told you about Disney Channel? No more!

Tre: But Mike, if we were a movie you'd be the right guy!

Mike: No more Montana of Hannah!

Tre: Even Miley Cyrus?

Mike: For Ninja Turtles sake it's the same chick!

Tre: So…?

Mike: No!

Tre: What about the Jo-hos?

Mike: No.

Tre: Demi Levato?

Mike: No.

Tre: What abo-

Mike: No!

Billie Joe: I think we should kick it old school pop with HANSON!

Mike: But the Force!

Billie Joe: Ok Empire first, then a Hanson cover. Now let's unite!

Billie Joe, Mike, and Tre: POWER RANGERS UNITE!!

Tre: YES! I love being the pink one!

Billie Joe: (runs over to Alanna, Buri, Thayet, Daine, and Kel) Call me later, we'll bang!

Mike: Onward men! To the shopping sale at the 99 cent store, then to our destiny!

(Billie Joe and Mike run out the doors, shortly followed by Tre who had to pick his nose and wipe it on Ashley before scampering away)

Numair: What a bunch of fun party animals!

Raoul: Come on Enrique, let's blow this studio stand!

Enrique Master of Evil!: (jumps out of Raoul's arms) Alas earthlings I reveal myself to you all!

Raoul: ENRIQUE! You speak!

Enrique Master of Evil!: Quiet your hole you mammal!

Jon: SHENANIGANS! Save me Thayet! (runs behind Thayet)

Enrique Master of Evil!: You nasty four limbed creatures are just what we need to fuel the vessel to which my superior race lives on!

George: Well actually some of us have five limbs, in my case I have six.

Alanna: (leans back) That's right, I tap that.

Enrique Master of Evil: People of the forsaken planet I come before you as a higher being, who will cause suffering to all you nasty life forms! My race shall devour your insides and use your spines as floss! Then the rest of your waste shall fuel our ship! BWUAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Daine: So you need nasty people to fuel your ship?

Enrique Master of Evil: Well, essentially yes, but the striking fear is what's the most fun.

Dom: Well that's not really fun for us.

Kel: I think that's the point, Dom.

Neal: Yeah, Dom! Pshh, what a loser!

Buri: How many do you need?

Enrique Master of Evil: Well we really only need one, you humans are quite large.

Thayet: Ah! Well you're in luck its take-one-against-their-will, get the other one free day!

(Alanna shoves Simon and Ashley towards Enrique Master of Evil)

Enrique Master of Evil: Really there's only a need for the manly girl, not the stupid girl.

George: But we insist!

Enrique Master of Evil: Really, no keep it!

Kel: Take it darn you!

Enrique Master of Evil: NO! (jumps in a teleport beam with Simon and leaves)

Raoul: -**sob**- ENRIQUE!!

Jon: Anyone in the mood for something cheesy?

Neal: Oh yea!

Daine: Sounds great!

Alanna: Let's go!

(contestants leave)

Ashley: Oh look a birdie! (runs out studio and gets hit by a tractor being driven by something strange)

tiki-torch: BWUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

* * *

**The last, and final chapter is dedicated to iggy's girlfriend who rode my butt till I finished KDM, so everyone should thank her 'cause it would have taken me sooo much longer to write this if I wasn't getting constant PM's. Thank you iggy's girlfriend! I hope this is acceptable.**

Also, a thanks to GiantKilleress and MSIlover66 (check out her stuff, she's one crazy kid!) who helped me pick the song. If you liked Le Disko by Shiny Toy Guns then you should check out my other one-shot called Photographs of Memories which also features STG.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed and sent in their votes! There really was no compitition, Kel had the majority votes. I personally wanted Alanna to win, but Kel beat her and George off by a LOT!

Thanks to all the readers that stuck with this story, even though I am a lousy updater. The next story I write will be almost completely written before I even post the next chapter! Keep an eye out, I plan on posting random songfics!


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